Free Sitting in Bars with Cake: Lessons and Recipes from One Year of Trying to Bake My Way to a Boyfriend by Audrey Shulman Page B

thanks for the cake. But I wasn’t doing this for them, of course—I was doing it for the girl.
    Yes, I was straying from the mission—to first and foremost seek out suitable boyfriend material in the form of the oblivious cake-eaters—but when it really came down to it, I knew what was right.

Cakeless birthday parties are your call to arms.

A
    Chocolate Chick-ory Cake with Dandelion Frosting
    A gender-bending dessert for male and female cake-eaters alike.
    For the cake:
    1 cup (200 g) sugar plus 2 tablespoons
    2 heads Belgian endive (chicory), leaves separated
    ½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
    3 large eggs
    2 cups (250 g) all-purpose flour
    ¾ cup (60 g) unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted
    2 teaspoons ground roasted chicory root
    2 teaspoons baking powder
    ½ teaspoon baking soda
    ½ teaspoon salt
    1 cup (240 ml) sour cream
    For the frosting:
    8 ounces (1 block/225 g) cream cheese, at room temperature
    ½ cup (120 ml) heavy cream
    1 cup (40 g) organic dandelion petals
    To make the cake : Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Butter two 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans, line the bottoms with rounds of parchment paper, and dust the pans with flour, tapping out the excess.
    In a small saucepan, combine 1 cup (240 ml) of water and the 2 tablespoons of sugar and place over medium heat. Add the endive leaves and cook until soft, about 5 minutes. Drain, pat dry with a paper towel, and chop. Set aside.
    Beat the butter and remaining 1 cup (200 g) of sugar together until creamy, then add the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl.
    In a separate bowl, combine the flour, cocoa powder, chicory root, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
    Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, alternating with the sour cream; stir until just combined. Stir in the endive. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
    Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one cake layer to a serving platter.
    To make the frosting : Beat the cream cheese, cream, and dandelion petals together until fluffy. Spread some of the frosting over the bottom cake layer, top with the second cake layer, and spread the remaining frosting over the top.



A
    ON GIRLS
    A Study of Female Behavior in Bars
    (1) That guy they’re hanging out with might just be their brother.
    (2) They’re fast and smart enough to suddenly become teammates.
    (3) Their cake compliments sway toward the short, sweet, and sincere.
    (4) They’ll watch your back when a weirdo’s being weird …
    (5) … but emerge from the woodwork if you’re talking to their boyfriends.
    (6) They’re also probably wondering what happened to that bygone era when guys knew how to buy girls drinks without making things weird.
    (7) There’s always room for debate in what constitutes a “dress.”
    (8) Their vocal range reaches a special shrillness after midnight.
    (9) They’re more likely to take a piece of cake if they’re working behind the bar.
    (10) Bachelorette parties do, in fact, necessitate tiaras.

A
    The Guy Who Asked for My Email Address
    It was the kind of place where peanut shells coated the floor, and this guy was dancing in a three-piece suit. He and his friends were trying to keep up with the horrible house music, and I admired their attempts to look like they knew what they were doing. I waited for a break in the noise to ask if they wanted any cake, and all six of them ended up back at my table.
    The guy in the suit sat and talked to me while his friends continued to gyrate around us, now far away from the music and staining their dress shirts with frosting. It turned out suit guy had clearly defined manners and a normal-person job, the equivalent of finding a unicorn cheerfully directing traffic along Hollywood Boulevard. He