Free Sitting in Bars with Cake: Lessons and Recipes from One Year of Trying to Bake My Way to a Boyfriend by Audrey Shulman

and constantly on the lookout for examples of gentlemanly behavior in our crumbling society, but the only thing I really needed this guy to do in that moment was sit still and eat my cake, preferably elaborating about how good it was.

Guys prove to be helpful when you least need them to be.

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    Melonhead Cake with Fizzy Frosting
    For guys who don’t understand your directions, intentions, or unspoken tactical plans.
    For the cake:
    ½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
    1 cup (200 g) sugar
    1 cup (250 g) pureed cantaloupe or honeydew melon
    4 large egg whites
    ½ teaspoon cream of tartar
    3 cups (375 g) all-purpose flour
    2 teaspoons baking powder
    ½ teaspoon baking soda
    ½ teaspoon salt
    ½ cup (120 ml) ginger ale
    For the frosting:
    ½ cup (1 stick/115 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
    4½ cups (450 g) confectioners’ sugar, sifted
    3 tablespoons ginger ale
    1 to 2 tablespoons milk, if needed
    To make the cake : Preheat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Butter two 9-inch (23-cm) round cake pans, line the bottoms with rounds of parchment paper, and dust the pans with flour, tapping out the excess.
    Beat the butter and sugar together until creamy. Add the melon.
    In a separate bowl, using an electric mixer with the whisk attachment, whip the egg whites and cream of tartar together until soft peaks form, and set aside.
    In a third bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
    Working in batches, stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture, alternating with the ginger ale; stir until just combined. Stir in half of the egg whites to lighten the mixture, then gently fold in the remaining whites. Divide the batter between the prepared pans.
    Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cake comes out clean. Let cool for 5 minutes, then loosen the sides with a knife and invert onto wire racks to cool completely. Peel off the parchment and transfer one layer to a serving platter.
    To make the frosting : Beat the butter and confectioners’ sugar together until smooth, then beat in the ginger ale until fluffy and smooth, adding a little milk if the frosting is too thick. Spread some of the frosting over the bottom cake layer, top with the second cake layer, and spread the remaining frosting over the top.



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    EMBARRASSING MOMENTS WORTH REVISITING
    (that everyone should promptly forget)
    (1) That time when everyone around us was on a date
    (2) The first seventeen times I tried to order a drink at the bar and couldn’t remember what I was supposed to do
    (3) That time people discovered whole pieces of sweet potato in their cake because I hadn’t properly mashed them
    (4) That time I ran into one of my friends and was too embarrassed to tell him and his date what we were up to
    (5) That time my friend tried to rip out my other friend’s nose stud thinking it was a crumb
    (6) That time when the cake tasted like cardboard and everyone was nice about it anyway
    (7) That time when no one at the bar wanted any cake
    (8) That time someone decided to kiss me for cake
    (9) That time the bouncer wouldn’t let me inside the bar
    (10) That time I got frosting all over my dress





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    Cakes for Meaningful Get-Togethers, Affirmative Encounters, and Reflective Solo Eating
    After a year of so many newly acquired tastes—from batter to boys to bars—here are the final cakes to accompany the stories that influenced me the most, holding more weight than all the cakes I made combined. What follows are surprising dessert combinations extracted from this flavor-filled dating strategy—an experiment that taught me more about myself than about baking, dating, or dudes. These are the cakes you make to leave an impression—one you’ll remember far longer than that guy who asked for your number, and well after the last bite is gone.

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    The Guy Who Was a Hot Rocket Scientist

    I almost fell over when this guy told me he was a rocket scientist. I thought maybe this was a