Free Out of the Blue by Sarah Ellis

I can go with Betsy.”
    Megan picked up a tea towel, but Mum took it out of her hands. “Leave this mess now. I’ll finish up. You look beat.”
    Megan went downstairs and threw the tennis ball for Bumper. The mad part of her was still there. And now there was nowhere for it to go. Nowhere. Happily ever after. What a laugh. Mum must be unhappy about the bridesmaid thing. Wasn’t she going to say anything? Was she just going to lie by silence again? The voice of Megan the fair interrupted. “But you didn’t want her to say anything.” Megan the mad threw the ball harder and harder. “Oh, shut up.”
    If there were some small but precise asteroids that could fall out of the sky and wipe out the events of the past two weeks, this would be the perfect moment.

Chapter Eleven
    â€œSO THE QUEEN, THE mother of Princess Mayonnaise, was taken to the judge.
    â€˜â€œHave you ever lied to your children?’ asked the judge.
    â€œâ€˜No,’ said the queen boldly.
    â€œâ€˜Are you sure?’ asked the judge again.
    â€œThe queen began to tremble.
    â€œâ€˜Have you ever lied by leaving out things?’ asked the judge sternly.
    â€œâ€˜Yes,’ admitted the prisoner.
    â€œâ€˜Then you are banished to the forest,’ said the judge. ‘Woodcutter! Take this woman to the forest and bring me back her heart.’”
    Megan blocked everything on the screen and deleted it, sending the words out into the ozone. Princess Mayonnaise and her keyboard of power.
    But it wasn’t getting her anywhere on daily life in the Stone Age, Mr. Mostyn’s latest assignment. The encyclopedia didn’t mention what Stone Agers ate for breakfast. Maybe Erin had some better books. Maybe she should go over there. Maybe she should just do nothing. She switched off the computer and turned on the TV.
    Megan had taken to spending a lot of time at Erin’s. The Hungerford house was just too full of Natalie. Not Natalie the person — she didn’t visit very often—but Natalie the wedding. Mum had now met Natalie’s mother, “Mummy,” and they had decided to join forces on catering the wedding reception. “Mummy” was going to buy the ingredients and Mum would do the cooking. This plan seemed to involve long daily phone discussions. “Operation Matrimony,” that’s what Dad called it.
    On TV three men hidden behind a screen were answering questions from a blond woman with large hair. “What is your idea of a romantic evening?”
    Bumper wandered into the room. He had a tea towel wrapped around him. Betsy followed.
    â€œBetsy, what are you doing?”
    â€œI have a theory that Bumper is a horse. Do you have anything I could use as stirrups?”
    Transformation was not a new experience for Bumper. Over the years Betsy had turned him into a movie star (sunglasses), an Hawaiian princess (a plastic lei), and a coffee table (no props required). Bumper was usually patient about these costumes, although he sometimes got a vagued-out look on his face, as in, “I am not here. This is not happening.”
    Bumper gave a sigh and flopped over on the floor.
    â€œOh, well.” Betsy sat down beside Megan. On the screen Large Hair was about to make her choice. Would it be Brad, Chip, or Dirk for the dream date?
    â€œHey!” Betsy poked Megan.
    â€œShhhhhh.”
    Large Hair chose Dirk.
    â€œOkay, what?”
    â€œWould you rather spend ten days in jail or give Bumper away?”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œIf you had to choose.”
    Mum came downstairs, saving Megan from the decision. “That was Nat on the phone.”
    Nat, gnat. A little buzzing insect that flies around your head. On TV the studio audience roared their approval as Dirk kissed Large Hair.
    â€œShe wonders if we’re free to go dress shopping next Saturday.”
    â€œFor my flower girl dress?” said Betsy.
    â€œYes, and a new dress for