Free MA05 Myth-ing Persons by Robert Asprin

have any idea who it is?”
    “Naw. There’s only one of ‘em. Unless ...”
    His voice trailed off into silence and he looked suddenly worried.
    “Out with it, Guido. Unless what?”
    “Well, sometimes when you’re getting really tricky about tailing someone, you put one real clumsy punk out front so’s they can be spotted while you keep your real ace hitter hidden. I hadn’t stopped to think of that before. This turkey behind us could be a decoy, know what I mean?”
    “I thought you used decoys for ducks, not turkeys,” Massha scowled.
    “Well, if that’s what’s happening, then we’re sitting ducks, if it makes you feel any better.”
    “Could both of you just be quiet for a few minutes and let me think?” I said, suddenly impatient with their banter.
    “Well, maybe it isn’t so bad,” Guido said in a doubtful voice. “I’m pretty sure I would have spotted the backup team if there was one.”
    “Oh sure,” Massha sneered. “Coming out of a town full of vampires that can change themselves into mist whenever they want. Of course you’d spot them.”
    “Hey. The Boss here can chew on me if he wants, but I don’t have to take that from you. You didn’t even spot the turkey, remember?”
    “The only turkey I can see is ...”
    “Enough!” I ordered, having arrived at a decision despite their lack of cooperation. “We have to find out for sure who’s behind us and what they want. This is as good a place as any, so I suggest we all retire into the bushes and wait for our shadow to catch up with us ... No, Massha. I’ll be over here with Guido. You take the other side of the road.”
    That portion of my plan had less to do with military strategy than with an effort on my part to preserve what little was left of my nerves. I figured the only way to shut the two of them up was to separate them.
    “I’m sorry, Boss,” Guido whispered as we crouched side by side in the brush. “I keep forgettin’ that you aren’t as into crime as the boys I usually run with.”
    Well, I had been half right. Massha on the other side of the road was being quiet, but as long as he had someone to talk to, Guido was going to keep on expressing his thoughts and opinions. I was starting to understand why Don Bruce insisted on doing all the talking when the bodyguards were around. Encouraging employees to speak up as equals definitely had its drawbacks.
    “Will you keep your voice down?” I tried once more. “This is supposed to be an ambush.”
    “Don’t worry about that, Boss. It’ll be a while before they catch up, and when they do, I’ll hear ‘em before ...”
    “Is that you, Skeeve?”
    The voice came from the darkness just up the road.
    I gave Guido my darkest glare, and he rewarded it with an apologetic shrug that didn’t look particularly sincere to me.
    Then it dawned on me where I had heard that voice before.
    “Right here,” I said, rising from my crouch and stepping onto the road. “We’ve been waiting for you. I think it’s about time we had a little chat.”
    Aside from covering my embarrassment over having been discovered, that had to be my best understatement in quite a while. The last time I had seen this particular person, she was warning me about Aahz’s imprisonment “Good.”
    She stepped forward to meet me. “That’s why I’ve been following you. I was hoping we could ...”
    Her words stopped abruptly as Guido and Massha rose from the bushes and moved to join us.
    “Well, look who’s here,” Massha said, Hashing one of her less pleasant smiles.
    “If it isn’t the little bird who sang to the vampires,” Guido leered, matching my apprentice’s threatening tone.
    The girl favored them with a withering glance, and then faced me again.
    “I was hoping we could talk alone. I’ve got a lot to say and not much time to say it. It would go faster if we weren’t interrupted.”
    “Not a chance, Sweetheart,” Guido snarled. “I’m not goin’ to let the Boss out of my sight