Free MA10 Sweet Myth-tery of Life by Robert Asprin Page B

what she was going to look like. Heck, if she turned out to be a lousy conversationalist, the evening could still turn out okay if she was at least fun to look at.
    Despite my nagging concerns, however, there was no denying I felt a certain measure of excitement as the time drew near. As Vic had observed, I didn’t really have a lot of experience with dating. Specifically, this was going to be my first date ... ever. Now don’t get me wrong, I knew a fair number of women, but I had met all of them in the course of business. Before I met Aahz, I had been living alone with Garkin in a shack in the woods ... which is not the greatest way to meet females. Since tying on with Aahz, my life had gotten noticeably more exciting, but there was little time for a social life. What off time I did have was usually spent with other members of our crew, and while they were good company for the most part, it left little room for outsiders. Consequently, the idea of spending an entire evening with a strange woman just to be spending time together was a real treat ... and more than a little scary.
    The one variable in the whole situation I could control was me, and I was bound and determined that if anything went wrong with the evening, it wouldn’t be because I hadn’t put enough effort into my preparations. Money was easy. While I wasn’t sure where we would be going, I figured that two or three hundred in gold would cover our expenses ... though I made a note to bring along my credit card from Perv just to be on the safe side.
    Wardrobe was another matter. After changing my outfit completely a dozen times, I finally settled on the same clothes I had worn when I had my match with the Sen-Sen Ante Kid ... the dark maroon open necked shirt with the charcoal grey slacks and vest. I figured that if it had impressed people on Deva, it should be impressive no matter where we went. Of course, on Deva, I had also been traveling with an entourage of bodyguards and assistants ... not to mention a quarter of a million in gold.
    I was just considering changing my clothes one more time, when there was a knock at the door. This surprised me a little, as I had somehow expected that my date would simply appear in the room. As soon as that thought occurred to me, however, it also occurred to me that there had been an excellent chance that she would have appeared while I was changing outfits. Slightly relieved at having escaped a potentially embarrassing situation, I opened the door.
    “Hi, Skeeve,” Bunny said, sweeping past me into the room. “I thought I’d stop by and brief you on the latest budget developments and maybe do dinner and ... Hey! You look nice.”
    Needless to say, this was an unexpected ... and unpleasant … surprise.
    “Um. Actually I was just getting ready to go out.” I managed politely.
    She took it well. In fact, she seemed to brighten at the news.
    “That’s a great idea!” she said. “Hang on a few and I’ll duck back to my room and change and we can go out together!”
    “Um ... Bunny ...”
    “To tell you the truth, I’ve been starting to go up the walls a little myself. It’ll be wonderful to get out for a while, especially with you, an ...”
    “BUNNY!”
    She stopped and cocked her head at me.
    “What is it, Skeeve?”
    “I ... actually ... well ... I have a date.”
    The words hung in the air as she stared at me with eyes that had suddenly gotten very large.
    “Oh,” she said finally in a small voice. “I ... Then I guess I’d better be moving along.”
    “Wait a minute, Bunny,” I said, catching her as she started for the door. “Maybe tomorrow we ca ...”
    There was a soft “BAMPF” in the room behind us, and we turned to discover that my date had arrived ... at least, I assumed she was my date. I could think of no other reason for a creature appearing in my room that looked like that.
    She was pale, even paler than Queen Hemlock, which only served to accent the deep red lipstick she wore. She