Free Wash Me Away by Wendy Owens

clutching my side as a sharp pain causes me to gasp in air.
    “Whoa Speed Racer.” As soon as I hear the reference, the voice, I know who it is. Leo extends a hand, helping me up. “Where are you headed in such a hurry?” he asks.
    My mouth opens, but the answer seems to have lost its way.
    “Are you all right?” He has to know the answer; looking at my red-rimmed eyes, it’s obvious.
    I shake my head, words still lost.
    “What’s wrong?” He’s holding my arm, trying to get me to look at him. I can see the concern overwhelming his features now.
    I make swift work of pulling my arm back, and suck in a long breath, then exhale. You’re okay, just calm down. I tell myself. Why are you freaking out so bad? Who cares that your uncle once dated your mom? So what if the man everyone describes as your dad sounds nothing like the man you grew up with? Either way, Daddy’s gone. The past is just that. It doesn’t matter anymore. But it does matter. I have such little left of my mother—barely any memories that would even make her recognizable to me. To have that idea shaken is . . . well, it erases a little part of who I understand myself to be.
    I charge further up the walkway, and Leo follows close behind.
    “You might as well tell me what’s going on, because I’m not going to leave you alone until you do,” he presses.
    I stop, turn toward him, and command myself to smile. “I’m fine,” I insist at last, relieved I’ve finally found my voice.
    “I don’t know what this is, but it’s far from fine,” he argues.
    Panic washes over me, and I turn my head. I don’t want him looking at me. He sees me in a way that makes me terribly uncomfortable. I lick my lips, wishing I was anywhere but here, being confronted about feelings I want nothing to do with. My heart pounds. What in the hell is wrong with you, Addison Buckley?
    My mouth opens again, but this time a flood of obscenities pour out. Who are you? I wonder, and Leo’s expression shows he is just as shocked by my outburst.
    “Seriously, what is going on?” he asks again.
    “I need to sit down,” I state. He begins to look around for a place, but my body is no longer taking commands from my brain. I sit right there, in the middle of the sidewalk.
    He drops to his knees. “What are you doing?”
    “I needed to sit down,” I say simply, a cloud hanging over my head, keeping any clear thoughts at bay.
    “Let’s go,” Leo huffs, pulling up on one of my arms. I think about letting my body go limp, like a toddler resisting the grasp of her mother, but then decide to follow his lead. Staggering next to him, we make our way to the clearing of the Mountain Campus trail. The moment my mind has accepted where we’re going, Leo pulls my arm, taking me off to the left, down a much more narrow and almost invisible trail. I don’t say anything, only follow him silently, patient as the fog on my brain begins to lift. The fresh air delivers me my senses once again.
    We break through the dense tree line, and I suddenly see a familiar part of the skyline. I hear water rushing and crashing below. A smirk climbs its way across my face, “Is this—”
    “The same cliffside?” he interjects, then nods in the affirmative. “This path comes up from the other side.”
    In an instant I’m breathing easily again. My pulse has returned to normal and a calm settles over me, covering me like a warm blanket.
    “Thank you,” I say in an almost whisper.
    “No problem.” He nods, and we are both quiet for some time before he asks again, “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
    “Do you ever feel like you don’t even know the people in your life?” I say from complete impulse.
    Leo moves between me and the edge of the cliffside. “Are we talking family or friends?”
    “Family, I suppose.”
    He doesn’t answer me right away. He shifts his weight, even though there isn’t much of it to shift, from foot to foot. Finally, he lets out an exasperated