in my entire life propping itself up next to the door because it was too big and too cool to stand up straight.
âAt least they delivered it,â I whispered.
âIâd offer to help you with that,â he said, pointing at the Tree Who Ate Christmas, âbut I busted up my back pretty good shovelling the driveway this morning. I donât think my wife would be too impressed if I hobbled back home and couldnât get out of bed on Christmas day. I could send my brother over once weâve got your car back?â
âOh, Iâm sure Iâll be fine,â I said right away.
Clearly I was not going to be fine. How was I going to get thirty million feet of tree inside on my own? Sadie sure as hell wasnât going to help, but at the same time I was pretty sure Keith and his twin brother had plans of their own and didnât want to spend all of Christmas Eve babysitting me and my best-laid plans. Iâd find a way. If it killed me, I would find a way.
*
âHey, Angie!â
With the car fully fuelled up and the heating turned up as far as it would go, I waved my knight in shining plaid off on his way and feverishly fumbled around in the glove box for the in-car phone charger Iâd picked up in Duane Reade. I wasnât completely stupid â I knew Iâd want to charge my phone on the drive up here. I just hadnât taken into account the need for gas.
âJenny!â I could barely hear her over the deafening music in the car when Angie picked up. Someone had got her Christmas spirit back. âWeâre having car drinks! Jeremy is driving!â
Okay, maybe just spirits in general.
âThatâs awesome,â I shouted, leaning back in the car seat. âHow far away are you?â
âWeâve been on the road about three hours?â she said. I could hear James confirming the timing in the background. âAnd Iâm going to have to stop for a wee at least twice. So maybe, what, two more? Three, tops?â
âProbably three.â It was already almost four; they werenât going to be here anytime soon. âThat gives us plenty of time to get things ready.â
âHowâs the house?â Angie asked. âIs there tinsel everywhere?â
âI know all about your no tinsel rule,â I replied. Sneaky bitch, trying to trick me. âDonât worry, Angie baby, itâs going to be a tasteful Christmas shitstorm up here.â
As long as I get the heating working, I added silently, otherwise weâre all going to die in the night. Festive.
âI canât wait,â she said, the connection cutting in and out. âIâve got your presents. Itâs going to be awesome.â
Presents! I pushed the thought of dying in the night out of my mind and concentrated on trying to will one of those presents into being a new pair of shoes. âSee you soon, babydoll. You guys drive safe.â
The entire car cheered and then began a rousing group rendition of âJingle Bellsâ
for me. It
was
beginning to feel a lot like Christmas, but I was also beginning to feel a lot like I might get a migraine and there was only so much shit a girl could take at once.
Chapter Eight
I followed Keithâs tyre tracks all the way back down to the house, pretending that it wasnât snowing harder and they werenât halfway covered up already, and made a mental list of what needed to happen next.
We had the food, we had the tree, we were halfway to a Christmas spectacular, but I still had to work out the power situation, email the presentation to Stephen and somehow work out how to reverse time and stop Joe C. Davies from succumbing to some terrible illness, which was clearly what had to have happened to him otherwise he would have sent me a goddamn text by now.
âCrap!â I let out a frustrated yelp, banging my fist against the steering wheel. âCrap crap crap.â
I was so mad at everything. Why