Free Lawless by Helenkay Dimon Page B

never been subtle on that point.
    “Why didn’t you take it?” Joel asked.
    That was easy. “I wanted to learn everything about you in the normal way. Date like normal people. Eat together like normal people. Find out about each other like normal people.”
    “I remember our first date.” His free hand went to her hair. He slid it forward and weaved his fingers through.
    “Italian food. We ate for three hours.”
    He wrapped a lock around his forefinger. “I was done in ten minutes, but I moved a few stray pieces around on my plate because I wanted to be with you as long as possible.”
    Her heart did a perfect backflip. “When did that stop?”
    The sadness moved back into his eyes as his thumb traced her lower lip. “Never.”
    “So, you left me for a job.” The words stuck in her chest, but she shoved them out, letting them rip and tear as they went.
    “Yes.”
    The word hit her like a punch. “And then you left that job for the one you have now.”
    She didn’t understand that choice. He had confessed how much he wanted the position at the Defense Intelligence Agency, how he needed to be available to come and go. That the work would be dangerous and the hours impossible. He’d pick up and leave and couldn’t tell her...so they should move on from each other.
    The memory of how easy it had been for him to deliver the horrible news still haunted her. She’d begged and he’d walked away. Never looked back.
    But now she saw a different man. This Joel didn’t celebrate leaving her. When he looked at her he acted as if the need crushed him. She just wished he could see it. She wished he was willing to do something to fix them.
    His chest rose and fell on heavy breaths as his fingertips brushed against her cheek. “The DIA job was a mistake.”
    Not the answer she expected. Not really the question in her mind either. “Was leaving me a mistake?”
    He closed his eyes for the briefest of seconds “Hope, don’t—”
    She stopped his words by putting her palms on either side of his face. “Kiss me.”
    “No.” There was no heat behind the word.
    “Why?”
    “I won’t stop.”
    She leaned in closer, letting her breath mingle with his. “You will. We’ll kiss and then we’ll get in that bed and sleep.”
    “You have more faith in my control than I do.”
    He acted like this was easy for her. Like she wasn’t waging a battle to win them back. “You would never touch me without my permission.”
    “Of course not.” His hands went to her waist and with a tug her chest pressed against his.
    “You don’t have it.” She dropped a small kiss on his chin. “You would have to earn it.”
    “You’re killing me.” His face went into her hair, and his mouth nuzzled her ear.
    The brush of air across her skin sent a tremor racing down her spine. The shiver brought with it an ache. A need to be near him. “That pretty face of yours isn’t enough for me to drop my common sense.”
    He chuckled. “Good to know.”
    “But you could—”
    “Kiss you.”
    He didn’t ask for permission a second time or for an order from her. He dipped his head and his lips touched hers. The kiss slipped from sweet to hot before one second could pass to the next.
    Fire rolled over her as her nerve endings sparked to life. Her hands tingled. She wanted to crawl in closer and never let him go.
    His mouth passed over hers and a grumble built in the back of his throat. He kissed her hard and deep and kicked life into every fantasy she’d ever had of him, every memory she held as sacred.
    When he lifted his head the room continued to spin. Her fingers gripped his back, and her pulse thumped in her ears.
    With a groan, he leaned his forehead against hers. “You think we can stop cold after a few more of those?”
    She could barely catch her breath. It rushed out of her in huge shuddering gasps. “We’re going to stop because we need our rest, although I bet you’re going to stay up most of the night keeping