Free Get Even by Amanda Heath Page B

says, “Never a dull moment with you two. I could be completely lost in sadness and still crack a fucking smile with the way you’re both acting.”
    I thump him on the back of the head as he turns around to back out. The rest of the drive to the church is quiet, except for Blake in the back talking softly to Tate about his trucks.
    Once we pull up to the church Tate unbuckles Blake from the car seat and moves out of the car. I do the same after he’s shut the door. Max meets me on the side and grabs my hand. I don’t question it; I just follow behind him. If he needs me to anchor him I will, even if it makes me uncomfortable.
    Tate’s jaw starts clenching when he spots us. I want to ignore him but Max’s shoulders get full of tension at the sight of Tate. They’re in a stare off at my sister’s funeral. “Fuck. I don’t know what the hell is going on between you two, but for the love of all things holy, get over it for everyone else’s sake. Mainly mine. I’m already crazy enough what, with the death of my whole life. Get over yourselves.”
    I pull my hand from Max’s and head for the third row, where Pops is seated. I walk down the pew and sit beside him. It doesn’t matter where I sit at, as long as I can see my sister’s coffin, and I can from here. She’s got this pretty pale pink one with ivory silk on the inside. I want to go up and see her but I don’t know if I can take it.
    “How does she look?” I ask Pops with tears in my eyes, choking my voice just a little.
    He clears his throat and grabs my hand. “Beautiful. Almost can’t tell she’s gone.” I squeeze his hand and turn my head to watch Blake run down the aisle towards my mother. She scoops him up and sits down in the first pew, not even looking over at me. “There ain’t something right in that woman.”
    I sigh, wishing that just once my family would be normal and overlook the stupid shit and pretend it’s not there. No, I got the family that likes to point out my mother is heartless and hates me. I can live with it, why can’t anyone else?
    “She’s your daughter,” I tell him, hating the way this has divided them. In all honesty, I can’t believe he isn’t on her side in the way she treats me. I know I would be if I wasn’t me.
    “Ain’t no daughter of mine treating her own child like this.” He squeezes my hand and then lets go.
    I watch Max approach the coffin, his shoulders tense and vibrating. Tate stands just behind him and when Max sees Sarah, his knees give out. I tense myself, ready to go up there but I settle back down in my seat. He doesn’t need me, not while Tate is up there with him.
    Max’s shoulders move up and down while he sobs into Tate’s chest. The same chest I’ve used for the same thing, many times. Tate wraps his arms around Max and speaks softly into his ear and I have a moment of light fill my heart. I have no idea what’s going on with them, but I’m glad they put it aside for today. They really need each other right now.
    Once they get settled in the first pew I get up. Pops offers to go with me, but I tell him to sit back down. The church is old with dark wood beams and rafters. There are white lilies everywhere, along with pink roses. Her favorite colors. They were even the colors of her wedding.
    Everyone hushes as I approach. I don’t know if they are waiting on my reaction or if they think I’m going to run screaming in the other direction. I don’t do anything once I get a look at her.
    I get jolts of pain in my chest seeing her like this. It’s her…but it’s not. The most shocking thing to see is the little pink blanket bundled in her arms. It was probably Mom’s idea to bury them together. I stayed out of the preparations for today. I knew Max would do her justice and he did. I just took the outfit because he said I would know best.
    I reach into the coffin and run my hand over the blanket. I don’t want to see the baby, that would kill me; I just want to touch her once.