Tags:
Literary,
Psychological,
Romance,
Literature & Fiction,
Sagas,
Action & Adventure,
Short Stories,
Mystery; Thriller & Suspense,
Contemporary Fiction,
Contemporary Women,
Women's Fiction,
Literary Fiction
their lives, and Rose disguised it to her husband using the best abilities she could muster. If Jason had any complaints, then Rose never heard them, making her believe that he was perfectly fine with it all.
She consoled herself that it wasn't his fault. Rose loved Jason and couldn't imagine a better, more loving husband. He did everything out of love and respect for her. But the only thing that gave her the release she sought was when she remembered the private conversations with her husband's college roommate, and that dialog ceased long before the infertility mess.
Matt existed in her mind solely as text and sounds of struggled breathing on the other end of a phone in those early years of her marriage to Jason. Regardless of the medium, Matt would share one juicy fantasy after another, and urge her to share one of hers with him. He made her feel sexy, wanted, and it helped that he never asked for recent photos from her; there was an unspoken rule about that.
He had an uncanny way of making her feel desirable, and she started to look forward to those naughty chats. They eventually became weekly occurrences, and then ultimately daily ones. She scheduled her workday breaks after he texted her something arousing, and none of her coworkers realized it wasn't a brisk walk that made her return to the office with a flushed face. She found herself in her car or home alone listening to that voice commanding her to push herself to the limits of her imagination. It was like she had her own adult phone service without the credit card charges.
Matt grew bolder with his suggestions over time, and she couldn't get enough of those secret sessions. Each conversation was unique, and every time they spoke exposed another dark layer of Matt's complicated desires and her own.
She reluctantly ended it after Matt begged her for one secret night with him. All of a sudden, the mental candy wanted to become a dangerous reality that threatened her marriage. It was no longer something like reading a book or watching an adult video because there was a real person on the other end of the line that physically wanted her. And she wanted him.
Such a realization snapped her out of the hidden fantasy they shared; Rose couldn't bring herself to hurt Jason like that. The guilt was too much for her, and she realized that as much as she desired Matt, she didn't love him. She loved her husband and she had to focus on her marriage. And so Matt faded from her daily activities, but she played out their conversations in her mind over and over again years later.
Rose never confessed or even hinted to Jason about what she did, and she was confident that Jason remained completely oblivious. He continued to talk with Matt about football, and they played video games online together practically every night until Matt's career took off. Rose heard Matt's voice emitting from Jason's gaming headset in his office, and it took every ounce of willpower she had not to pick up that headset and talk to him again while Jason was in the bathroom or getting a drink from the kitchen.
She found an excuse whenever Jason asked her to join him and Matt for drinks, a meal, an event, or whatever it was. She couldn't see Matt. The last time she saw them was the day she married Jason, and she didn't want her eyes to betray her past. She didn't know what would happen, and she decided to avoid him completely.
Thoughts about Matt always stirred something inside her with its reminders of long ago conversations, and this time was no different. She looked down to see her hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that her stark white knuckles contrasted her slightly tanned skin. The memory of his loud groans echoed through the phone's speakerphone, stuck in traffic on the way home, her fingers holding her entire weight forward over the steering wheel…
That was Matt's lasting impression on her. The familiar longing for release fought to be the foremost thought in her mind as she