Free Top Secret Twenty-One by Janet Evanovich Page B

better with a stun gun,” I said. “And I’ve been known to shoot people on occasion.”
    “Stop. You’re getting me excited. I’m getting a boner.”
    “I guess that’s an accomplishment at your age,” I said.
    Buster grimaced. “Jeez, you really know how to ruin a moment.”
    “About Jimmy …”
    “I don’t know anything about Jimmy. Personally, I think he was framed. And I don’t know where he is now. End of story.”
    “He was in your apartment.”
    “Yeah, but I wasn’t there. He has a key. Lots of people have keys. I’m that kind of guy. I never took the keys back when I moved in.”
    “You don’t talk to Jimmy?”
    “Who, me? He’s a felon. Do I look like the kind of guy who would talk to a felon?”
    “Yes.”
    “Boy, that hurts. I’m a law-abiding citizen.”
    “Did you get the blood out of the carpet?”
    “No. I tossed it. Some people have no consideration for other people’s property. Somebody had a lot of nerve popping Bernie in my apartment.”
    “So you have no idea who killed Bernie?”
    “If I knew who killed Bernie, I’d send him a bill for my carpet.”
    “Everybody thinks it was Jimmy.”
    “That’s jumping to conclusions. I don’t see Jimmy killing someone.”
    “He tried to kill his bookkeeper.”
    “Yeah, but everyone wants to kill Briggs. He’s annoying. Anyway, Jimmy only
tried
to run him over. Briggs pissed Jimmy off when he boinked the missus.”
    “Excuse me?”
    “You didn’t know?”
    “Randy Briggs and Trudy Poletti?”
    Buster grinned. “Yeah, Briggs is an animal. He probably humped the dog when he was done with Trudy.”
    I felt my upper lip curl back. “Ewwwww.”
    “We all knew Trudy fooled around, and Jimmy mostly looked the other way, but doing the bookkeeper was insulting. Briggs was a fucking employee. Not to mention people were making unflattering comparisons between Briggs and Jimmy. And just between you and me, I’ve seen Jimmy, and Briggs might be bigger in the old shlongarooni department.” Buster rocked back on his heels. “I guess you would know more about that than me.”
    “I know nothing! Briggs had a firebomb shot into his apartment. He asked me for protection, and in return he’s helping me find Jimmy. Are you sure you don’t know where Jimmy is hiding?”
    “Maybe I’ll remember if you show me your tits.”
    “That’s disgusting. This is a viewing. There’s a dead woman in there.”
    “How about if I ask to see them in a bar?”
    “No.”
    “Suppose I bought you dinner?”
    “No.”
    “What if I was in the hospital with a heart attack?”
    “No.”
    “Boy, you’re tough. Most women would go for the heart attack.”

TEN
    BRIGGS WAS STILL asleep on the kitchen floor when I brought Grandma home. I nudged him with my foot, and he mumbled something, but he didn’t wake up.
    “Is it okay if I leave him here?” I asked my mom. “I’ll come get him first thing in the morning.”
    “As long as it’s first thing.”
    I drove home, parked in my lot, and noticed that the lights were on in my apartment. Morelli had a key, but his green SUV wasn’t in the lot. Ranger’s black Porsche wasn’t there either, but that didn’t mean much. Ranger has a lot of cars available to him.
    My cellphone rang and Ranger said, “Babe.”
    “Are you in my apartment?” I asked him.
    “Are you alone?”
    “Yes.”
    “Then I’m in your apartment.”
    He was in my kitchen with a bottle of water in his hand. He was wearing jeans and a black T-shirt, a Glock, and an unzipped flak vest. Not his usual all black perfectly tailored uniform. No Rangeman logo.
    “This must be casual Tuesday,” I said to him.
    “They won’t let anything leave the building. Ella had to do some fast shopping.”
    Ella is half of a housekeeping couple that maintains Ranger’s building. She makes sure everyone is appropriately dressed and well fed, she supervises the cleaning crew, and she personally tends to Ranger’s private apartment.
    “Are you