Free Winter Hopes (Seasons of Love) by Jennifer Gracen

is the first time you've agreed with me. I’ve never heard you be so… level headed about it before. You always snipe at me.”
    “You snipe right back,” he said quickly. “And I’m sure we’ll continue to do our share of that too. But we can try not to in front of Andy. I don’t want that. I… since the day we signed the papers, I’ve been thinking about things you’ve said, about us getting along for his sake. And you’re right. Okay? I admit it, you’re right about all of that. And I don’t want to miss holidays, or make myself nuts knowing we’ll have to be in the same room for something, for the rest of his life. It’s too hard. It takes too much energy. We're both free of each other now, for the most part. So we can both go on and be… better. I'm trying to keep all that in mind. I’m trying here, Lydia.”
    She gaped at him, truly stunned speechless.
    Matt shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “You and I weren’t good together anymore. He shouldn’t have to pay for that. I want to be a good father to Andy, that's all. It's like you always said, he's what matters. Is that so hard for you to believe, that I want us to be able to be civil in front of him?”
    “Since I’ve been asking you for exactly that, for a long time? Yes, a little bit,” Lydia said in a hard tone. “Sorry, but yeah, it's hard to believe. It's coming out of nowhere.”
    Matt nodded. “I know. I get that. Look, I’m not saying ‘let’s be friends.’ You don’t like me, and I don’t like you. I’m sure there will still be plenty of fights in our future.”
    Lydia shivered involuntarily. Matt had never said anything like that so openly before, much less in such a calm, even tone.
    Matt coughed before saying, “I’m just telling you I’ve been thinking about it a lot, and I agree with you on that one point: Andy comes first. And he’s seen enough of us being ugly to each other. We can keep that away from him. Or, we can try, anyway. I’m saying I’ll try harder on my end. Okay?”
    “That would be great,” Lydia said quietly. “Thank you. I will too.”
    Matt nodded again, then looked at her almost cautiously. “Can I ask something else?”
    Lydia balled her icy hands into fists underneath her arms. “Sure.”
    “When Andy slept over, when you went to Connecticut… it was really nice to have him for that long a time. To put him to bed, to wake up to him… I missed being with him like that. I didn't even realize how much until he was there, waking up with me,” Matt said. He kicked aimlessly at a pebble on the porch. “I know we already worked out the agreements and terms and everything, but I thought I’d ask anyway. Can I have him sleep over once a month? I’d love to take him for a sleepover every other weekend, but I’m sure you don’t want to give me that much. So I’ll ask for one weekend a month. Would you at least think about it?”
    Lydia stared at Matt. He’d never been this rational and this decent to her, not from the day she’d told him she wanted him to leave. “I'm sorry, I have to admit it, I'm stunned. What brought all this on?” she asked. “I have to know.”
    “I told you. I miss my son.” Matt stared back at her, meeting her doubtful gaze. “He’s my only child. He’s probably the only kid I’ll ever have. I don’t want to miss his growing up. And since I live so close, there’s no reason for me to. I want to be a part of his life. And that’ll be easier if you and I get along. So I want to try. That’s it. Is that really so hard for you to believe?”
    Lydia looked at Matt’s face—the face she used to know so well, a face that now seemed to belong to a stranger. His pale blue eyes implored her. Matt had been a terrible husband, but a half-decent father, in spite of his many shortcomings. She could give him that much. She knew how deeply he loved Andy.
    She finally said in a quiet voice, “No. It’s not so hard to believe. It’s just surprising to