Free Again and Again by E. L. Todd

slept on the couch for the next week. I was fucking pissed.
    I couldn’t believe she said that to me. There was nothing worse she could have done. I was constantly scared she would leave me because I wa sn’t good enough for her, but for her to actually say the words stopped my heart in my chest. My world fell apart. All I saw was darkness.
    I knew things weren’t the best between us. I knew we’d been arguing about a plethora of problems. But I never thought it was that bad. I still loved Scarlet more than anything. There’s no one in the world I’d rather fight with than she.
    I was so angry. I was already upset with her but now I was livid. Those were words that should never be said unless they were sincere. Scarlet didn’t talk to me or try to apologize. She stayed away from me, knowing I had to resolve my anger before I could talk to her.
    When I came home from work, I went running on the beach and stayed outside for most of the afternoon. The waves calmed me and made me relaxed. I finally went inside and got into the shower. Scarlet was in her office, where she hid from me.
    I came downstairs and opened a beer and ordered a pizza. She and I didn’t share dinner together. I acted like she didn’t exist. I came home every night only because I knew she was uncomfortable being in the house alone. And I was a pussy and was scared my wife might need me.
    She came downstairs but didn’t walk past me. Instead, she sat on the couch next to me. It was the closest we’d been for days.
    “Can we talk?” she whispered.
    I turned off the game then leaned back. I didn’t look at her.
    “I wanted to apologize for what I said.”
    Finally.
    “I didn’t mean it. I was just upset about your mom and our fight…everything hit me all at once. It was pure pandemonium. I take back what I said and I’ll never say it again.”
    Those were the words I’d been waiting to hear for a week. “You have no idea how much that shit hurt.”
    “I know,” she said gently. “I’d be upset if you did the same to me.”
    “No, you would never forgive me,” I snapped. “Because you’re stubborn.”
    She didn’t deny that. “Do you forgive me?”
    I don’t know. I was still mad. “If you were someone else, I’d leave you.”
    She took a deep breath.
    “So, you’re lucky I love you so fucking much. You could do everything and anything and it will never change my feelings for you. But I’m sick of the way you treat me. Every time I do the right thing to protect you, you get pissed at me and call me a jackass. Scarlet, you need to pull your head out of your ass and knock it off. I gave your mom the money because I had to. Believe me, I’m not normally that generous. So stop acting like I’m the bad guy.”
    “I know…”
    I shook my head. “I understand why you were so upset. I get it. I really do. But I honestly think your dad would have wanted it to work out the way it did. Your mom has no reason to bother you and she didn’t ruin the best day of your life, where all our friend s and family would have witnessed it. I know he’d want you to have the happily ever after you deserved.
    “I’m not going to apologize for what I did. It was the best decision at the time, and you need to understand that I do everything for you. You’re always first, Scarlet. I’m sick of being compared to the guy I used to be. You said we moved on from that but clearly we haven’t. You still resent me for it. I think almost running out on our wedding is punishment enough.”
    “I know.” She blinked her tears away. “I know.”
    “So, you owe me an apology.”
    “I’m sorry,” she said quickly. “I’m sorry.”
    Seeing her cry and apologize broke down all my walls. I pulled her into my lap and pressed her face into my shoulder. “It’s okay.”
    She sobbed loudly. “I’m sorry.”
    “Shh…” I kissed her forehead then her tears.
    “Everything just got under my skin and I got so upset…”
    “I know, baby.”
    “ I never