Free Circuit Of Heaven by Dennis Danvers Page B

happier here?”
    She really didn’t know what to say. The question scared her a little. “I don’t know. I’m still getting used to it.”
    “How come you waited so long to come in?”
    “I don’t know.” She looked into the flame of the hurricane lamp, ran her fingertips lightly across the glass. “I didn’t know anybody in here.”
    “What changed?”
    She wanted to change the subject. She didn’t want to talk about herself any more than he wanted to talk about his parents. “Nothing changed. I just didn’t have anyplace else to go. I had to go somewhere, do something.” She shrugged. “I was lonely. I didn’t know anybody outside either.”
    “You must’ve known somebody.”
    She desperately tried to remember, but there was no one. “There were girls at the orphanage, but I lost track of them.”
    “Any regrets?”
    She looked up from the flame, at the light flickering in his eyes. “Sure. I’m still lonely in here.”
    That hung in the air for a moment. Great, Justine, tell him how lonely you are. She wanted to crawl under the table. “Let’s talk about you again. Why’ve you stayed out? It’s not all about your parents, is it?”
    It was his turn to look into the flame. The piano player was finally winding down, banging out chords with ponderous intensity. There was a small ripple of applause. Nemo looked up from the flame, a crooked smile on his face.
    He took her hands. “You know those old pictures of the Earth from space—a big blue ball? I have one of those up in my room. It was my grandmother’s. Must be over a hundred years old. I go out walking sometimes and look around at everything abandoned and falling apart, thinking about that picture and how it wouldn’t be the same now to float out there in space like the astronauts and look at the Earth, knowing most of the people are gone. Used to be you could look at it and say, ”That’s where I live. That’s my home.‘ People used to say we were bad for the Earth, and I guess we were, but I don’t think it’ll be the same place without us.“ He looked into her eyes. ”Do you know what I mean?“
    “I think so.” She looked down at their clasped hands. “I wish I didn’t.”
    “How come?”
    “Because I like you. And I’d like to see you again. But everything you’re telling me says that’s not going to happen, is it?”
    His voice was leaden and sad. “I don’t think that’d be such a good idea.”
    “Because I’m not real? Don’t I feel real to you, Nemo?” He squeezed her hands. “Too real.”
    “We could just be friends.”
    They looked into each other’s eyes, gave each other the same sad smile. “I guess not,” she said.
    “I’m sorry—”
    She released his hands and put her fingers to his lips. “Don’t be. I’m glad you think we couldn’t be just friends.” She slid back her chair and tried to sound cheerful. “I guess we should call it a night then. Show me to my room?”

4

    NEMO NODDED AND ROSE TO HIS FEET , FEELING hollow and empty inside. I’m doing the right thing, he kept saying to myself. I’m doing the right thing. So why do I feel so awful? He followed her to the elevator. She didn’t take his arm this time. They stood waiting a few feet apart, watching the numbers light up. They rode up in silence, avoiding each other’s eyes. Her room was in the back corner of the hotel, as far away from the elevator as you could get. They padded down the long, carpeted hallway, stood in front of her door, their heads hung down, not saying anything. Finally she stuck out her hand. “I’m glad I got to meet you, Nemo.”
    “Me too,” he mumbled, and took her hand. It was beautiful, her fingers long and delicate. He couldn’t let it go. He pressed her palm to his lips and kissed it.
    She ran her fingertips over his cheek. He closed his eyes, and she whispered, “Don’t be afraid of me.”
    He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Her lips were soft and warm. She held him close and