Free Looking at the Moon by Kit Pearson

dream.
    â€œHere we are!” The flashlight picked out a clump of six birches that formed a circle. Aunt Mary sat down in the middle and laughed softly. “Come in, Norah! I haven’t been here for years and years. This was my special place when I was young. Whenever Mother was upset with me, I would take refuge over here.”
    â€œ We used to pretend this was a teepee,” Norah told her, cross-legged beside her on the rocky ground. It didn’t feel quite right for one of the Elders to be in the circle now, even if she had come here as a girl. And it was odd to be sitting here in the middle of the night in her pyjamas. She waited; Aunt Mary seemed lit up with importance, as if she were going to tell Norah something.
    â€œI had a difficult time as a girl, Norah,” she said slowly. “What with my brother’s death, then Father’s, and Mother being so … well, you know how she is. And then … I met someone I liked very much. So much that I wanted to marry him.”
    Norah’s ears stretched. Hanny had once told her that Aunt Mary had a Secret Sorrow. Now she was finally going to hear about it!
    â€œWhy didn’t you?” she asked softly, trying not to stem the flow of confidence.
    â€œFor a number of reasons …” Aunt Mary’s voice grew tender. “His name was Thomas and he was a stockbroker in Toronto. I met him at a church meeting and he began coming over for Sunday dinners. I think Mother liked him; he was respectable enough, even for her. But then he found out he was going to be transferred to Regina.”
    So Aunt Mary had once been in love too! “Did he ask you to marry him?”
    â€œYes, he did. It took me a week to decide. But finally, after talking it over with Mother, I said no. I just couldn’t leave her alone, you see—not after the losses she’d already had. I even asked Thomas if she could come with us, but he was very reluctant to have her. I don’t blame him, and Mother didn’t want to leave Toronto anyway.”
    â€œBut that’s terrible!” cried Norah. “You gave up the man you loved for Aunt Florence ? How could you? She ruined your life!”
    Aunt Mary patted Norah’s hand. “It seemed the right thing to do at the time. And I haven’t suffered that much, you know. I did then, but I got over it and I think I have a very pleasant life—certainly more pleasant than most people in the world. Think of how much some of them must be suffering in the war this very moment, while we’re enjoying this beautiful place.”
    Sometimes Aunt Mary was too good to be true. Norah crumpled a strip of birchbark and flung it across the clearing. “Think of you ! Think of Thomas! It’s terrible that you gave him up!”
    â€œWell, it was all a long time ago and it’s over now. And who knows? Maybe I wouldn’t have had such a happy life with Thomas. When you grow up you’ll find that you have to learn to live with your own decisions.” Her voice had a sad, dreamy quality to it, but then she looked up at Norah and laughed. “Well! I don’t know why I’m telling you about it. It’s just such a restless kind of night. For some reason it made me think of him and I couldn’t sleep.”
    As they paddled back, Norah seethed with the injustice of Aunt Mary’s decision. But she had to admit that Aunt Mary herself didn’t seem to be upset about it; in fact she was curiously happy and excited. They kissed good-night, grinning at the secret of their shared expedition.
    I’ll never give up Andrew for anyone, Norah thought sleepily as she crawled back into her warm bed. She tried to stay awake long enough to hear him come in, but when she turned over again it was morning.

7
    An Accident
    T he whole family was assembled on the dock the next afternoon. Norah lay on her stomach, basking after her fifth swim. Lazily she watched Aunt Florence and Aunt