Free Out of Breath by Rebecca Donovan

gotta go. I’ll call you later.’ And then she was gone.
    Her raging fit, coupled with my role as the mute bystander, left me exhausted. I wanted her to feel better. To go back to the exuberant, energetic person I loved like a sister. Sara was stronger than I was, so I had hope thatshe’d recover from this. But wanting something didn’t always make it happen.
    Every choice had a consequence. I’d earned every aching beat that pounded in my chest.
    Emma!
    The sound of him calling me, lying battered and abandoned on the floor of my mother’s house, echoed within me. I was the only one to blame for my desolation.
    I looked down at my hands and flexed them. They still trembled ever so slightly. I closed my eyes, and the tears were there waiting, dammed by my lids. I clenched my teeth and breathed in quick bursts, demanding the numbness to return.
    ‘Em, we’re going for a run,’ Serena announced, poking her head in the door. I opened my glassy eyes. Without reacting to my tortured expression, she calmly directed me, ‘Get dressed and come with us.’
    I didn’t argue, knowing the run would be more therapeutic than sleep.
    Meg was in the hall, tying her running shoes, when I exited my room.
    ‘Hey,’ she greeted with a comforting smile. ‘Get any sleep?’
    ‘Some,’ I responded. She didn’t mention the picture from
The
Times
, which was no longer on my computer screen. I knew she’d closed it. Just like I knew that either she or Serena had picked up the photo that was missing from under my nightstand. I wasn’t oblivious to their protective gestures, even if we never talked about them.
    ‘How’s Sara?’ she asked.
    ‘Lethal. Jared better hope he never bumps into her.’
    Meg smiled, probably picturing Sara in all her vengeance.
    ‘Ready?’ Peyton bounced out of her room, her blonde hair swinging in a ponytail.
    ‘Yeah,’ Meg and I answered in unison, following her as she hopped down the stairs.
    Serena and Meg were quiet during our run. I wondered if Meg had told Serena what happened, but I wasn’t about to ask. Peyton remained oblivious to the strained silence. She proceeded to recap the fraternity party she’d attended the night before, with detailed descriptions of how each room was decorated in a different book theme, with corresponding drinks.
    ‘I think I drank every book.’ She laughed. ‘I mean drink.’
    ‘Shocking,’ Serena scoffed. Peyton ignored her.
    ‘When are you going out with Cole?’ Peyton interrogated, jogging faster to catch up with my pace.
    ‘What?’ Her voice was droning in my head like a rhythmic buzz.
    ‘What’s going on between you two? I never got to ask you, what happened when you met him at Joe’s?’
    ‘Umm … nothing really,’ I said evasively. ‘It was … nothing.’
    ‘Are you going to see him again?’ she pushed.
    ‘I … uh …’
    I couldn’t form a sentence, forget about a thought. I was concentrating on not collapsing and bursting into flames right there on the sidewalk.
    ‘Are
you
ever going out with Tom?’ Meg intercepted. ‘Imean, you two have been flirting for forever. Does he even have your phone number?’
    ‘
Yes
,’ Peyton snapped. ‘He has my phone number. We’re just … taking our time.’
    I lengthened my stride and left them behind, pushing myself around the next corner until I was sprinting, needing to extinguish the inferno before it consumed the limited air I had left. Serena remained right behind me, her face set and determined.
    This only drove me to push harder towards the house, now in sight. My thighs screamed and my lungs burned. I let up and slowed to a walk after passing our front steps. Serena was hunched over with her hands on her thighs, sweat dripping down her flushed face.
    ‘Fuck, Em,’ she panted. ‘That was intense.’
    I continued to walk around, taking long breaths, waiting for my heart rate to come down and the calm to take over. I closed my lids; the flames still danced beneath them, relentless,