Free Last Days of Summer by Steve Kluger

Messenger
    To: Charles Banks
    From: Herbert Demarest, Principal
    Re: Joseph Margolis
    It has come to my attention that you have taken a proprietary position with regard to one of my students, Joseph Margolis. While I appreciate the attention you’ve given the boy in light of his absent father, and whereas the other children have been duly impressed by the occasional presence of a celebrity on our grounds, I believe that there are one or two points we will need to clarify. At 1:20 this afternoon, Joseph delivered an oral book report on David Copperfield , along with a few extemporaneous observations of his own. By 1:25, he’d been sent to my office.
    Mr. Banks, with all due respect, what kind of smut are you teaching this kid?
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    Mr. Herbert Demarest
    Alexander Hamilton Jr. High
    2236 Bedford Avenue
    Brooklyn NY
    Dear Mr. Demarest,
    Did you ever read the damn book? “Yes ma’am,” “No ma’am,” “Please pop me in the kisser again ma’am.” Is that how you want him to grow up?
    Chas. Banks
3d Base
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    Alexander Hamilton Junior High School
    Via Messenger
    To: Charles Banks
    From: Herbert Demarest, Principal
    Re: Joseph Margolis
    Thank you for your interest in the boy’s well-being. However, since I would not presume to tell you how to bat, why don’t you leave his education to me?
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    ----
    Mr. Herbert Demarest
    Alexander Hamilton Jr. High
    2236 Bedford Avenue
    Brooklyn NY
    Dear Mr. Demarest,
    Then why don’t you give him “Withering Heights”? At least Heathcoat knew how to kick some ass.
    Chas. Banks
3d Base
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    Dear Joey,
    If your trying to make a monkey out of me your doing a good job. The only reason your principle did not throw the book at us was on account of bluffing him like I have not done since Whit Wyatt nailed me to a 3 and 1 and then threw a curve ball from thinking I was going to bunt. Like I would ever bunt. From now on when I teach you things, some of them are suppose to stay between us. David Copperfield is one of them. I will tell you what the other ones are when they happen.
    We get to Florida in the early A.M. and start Spring Training at 11:00. I don’t know what they are trying to prove, for even our uniforms won’t be here yet. Carl Hubbell is already getting a head start by doing push-ups in the isle, but only when he thinks Mister Terry is looking. So we threw hisclothes off the train somewhere around Baltimore. Let’s see how many people take him serious when he is pitching in his under pants.
    Right now we are in the middle of a Carolina. Stuke thinks it is still the North one but Mel Ott thinks it is the South. So they bet on it. (At dinner there was a round thing under Stuke’s gravy. He thought it was a Lima Bean and Ott thought it was a dime. They bet on that too. Whatever it was, it had legs.) I will be glad when we get out of this part of the South due to Gone With The Wind and etc. They still do not like us down here, though you would think after 80 years they would grow the fuck up.
    Stuke finally stopped wearing black from Lucille Ball marrying that Cuban guy in November. Instead he paid a bookie $30 for Veronica Lake’s address and sent her a telegram when we stopped at Richmond. But she didn’t send one back yet, even though he told her what train we were on. He says he will give her two more days and then he will ask Rita Hayworth. But first he needs to find another bookie.
    Hazel will be keeping a glim on you until I get back. So don’t try to get away with anything.
    Charlie
    P.S. Tell your mother thanks for the pointy coconut things, even though nobody here knows what they are.
    P.S.2. We heard on Murrow that there’s this newgang in D.C. called America First. Their saying is “Keep Our Ass Out of Wars That Do Not Belong To Us” or such words that you can say on the radio. What do you think? Maybe I should join up huh? You can bet they did not send an invite