Free When Love Happens by Darcy Burke Page A

“Like you did?”
    Tori pulled her hand away and refolded her armsover her chest. “Don’t judge me.”
    “I’m not judging. I’m trying to understand. Why would you keep all of this to yourself? It has to be such a burden.” Sara pushed away from the wall and moved toward her. “Tori, you aren’t alone. We’re all struggling.”
    “I know. It is a burden. One I didn’t want to dump on any of you.”
    Sara went to hug her again but stopped herself. “Can I?”
    Tori nodded, againunderstanding that it was more for Sara than for herself. Hugs were nice, but they didn’t solve anything.
    Sara rubbed her back for a long minute. When she drew away, she offered a watery smile. “I’m glad you told me—even if you didn’t really want to. We’ll work through this together.”
    Through what? Tori’s guilt? Her regret that she’d been off having the time of her life, falling in love, gettingmarried, all while her brother was preparing to kill himself? How the hell did she work through that?
    Tori swallowed, happy that she hadn’t actually lost her shit. She straightened away from Sara, backing up a half step. “There’s nothing to work through.”
    Sara’s jaw dropped. “Are you kidding? What about Sean?”
    “What about Sean?” Tori knew she sounded cold and callous, but Sean wasn’t part ofthis equation anymore.
    “Um, the tiny fact that he’s your husband?”
    “On paper. For now. But we’re getting a divorce.”
    “Why? It seems like maybe he wants to make it work. Can’t you at least try?”
    Tori kept a thin rein on her temper. “Sara, you have no idea what you’re talking about. We got married on a whim. We barely know each other. He lives in LA. I live in San Francisco.”
    “You can fix thedistance thing—if you really want to.” Sara shook her head. “I don’t understand you. The Tori I know would fight for what she wants.”
    “I don’t want Sean.” The words practically scalded her throat. Did that mean they weren’t true? Or was she just so humiliated over the mess she’d made?
    Sara gaped at her. “Really? You obviously wanted him at some point.”
    Tori couldn’t hold on any longer. Shelet her emotions go for the first time in . . . she couldn’t remember how long. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stop talking about the Tori you know or the Tori I used to be. This is the Tori I am now . And this Tori is divorcing Sean and moving on. I cannot wait until this renovation is behind me.”
    Sara went pale again and she crossed her arms, pressing her hands against her bicepsas she went into full sensory processing mode. “It’s not going to solve anything,” she said sadly. “You can’t run from it forever. Sean isn’t the problem.” She took a deep breath. “What . . . What if Alex hadn’t died? How would your marriage have played out?”
    Oh, Tori did not want to go there. She’d tried a few times, but the guilt always won out. How could she find happiness in the midst ofAlex’s despair? No, she couldn’t do that to his memory. “Please stop.” Tori made to move past her, but Sara stood firmly in her path.
    Sara’s eyes narrowed, and color reentered her cheeks via bright swathes of pink. “No. I’m not going to let you wallow. Yes, Alex’s death changed things, but it didn’t change who we are. He . . . He wouldn’t have wanted that.” Her speech was faltering a bit, a telltalesign that her environment—or in this case, stress—was affecting her processing in a big way. “This hollow shell of his sister would piss him off, and he’d be the first to tell you that. He’d also tell you . . . He’d tell you to pull your head out of your ass.”
    It was true. Alex didn’t coddle anyone—he told everyone exactly how it was. Except Liam. There were special rules between the two of them.Rules the rest of them had never understood and probably never would.
    “Pretend I’m Alex,” Sara said. “Pull your head out of your ass and reclaim