Free F*ck Feelings by MD Michael Bennett

face. Know the pros and cons well enough that your confidence in your knowledge shines through, and if you still can’t close on the sale, you won’t feel the urge to keep nudging, or to reproach your own unpersuasiveness, since you’ll know you did your best.
    So don’t despair if you can’t summon persuasive powers. You may long for the unique pleasure and power of being a wheeler-dealer or orator, but assuming that your main interest is in getting the job done, there are other ways to do it and feel good about your accomplishments instead of desperate about what you just can’t do.
Quick Diagnosis
    Here’s what you wish for and can’t have:
    â€¢Â To get people other than your mother to pay attention and take pleasure in listening to you
    â€¢Â To get people to do what you want for financial, sexual, or generally selfish benefit
    â€¢Â To win people over with the natural charisma you do not have
    Here’s what you can aim for and actually achieve:
    â€¢Â Offer people a fair summary of the pros and cons of a possible decision
    â€¢Â Persuade people that you’re more interested in enhancing their choices than imposing your own opinion
    â€¢Â Be a knowledgeable, good listener
    â€¢Â Keep your emotions to yourself
    â€¢Â Take satisfaction in meeting your own standards rather than moving others
    Here’s how you can do it:
    â€¢Â Develop due diligence procedures for listing the risks and rewards of any decision, including purchases, partnerships, and partying
    â€¢Â Do your research and gather information about decisions you wish to influence
    â€¢Â Present yourself in terms of your interest in finding a good solution, rather than forming a close relationship or winning a contest
    â€¢Â Learn to present information accurately and concisely, even if you’re boring and not funny
    â€¢Â Judge yourself on whether you’ve followed your procedures, rather than on whether someone did what you wanted them to do
Your Script
    Here’s what to say to yourself or a skeptical relative, client, or customer when you’re trying, and failing, to sell your point.
    Dear [Me/Suspicious Client/Stubborn Relative],
    Regardless of my own opinion, I’d like to help you [make a decision/spend a lot of money/pass an exam/get your head out of your ass] by giving you a brief rundown of the [pros and cons /fact and fiction/details I know backward and forward]. If you happen to have strong [insert emotional noun] about this situation, I hope you will weigh them objectively while considering their likelihood, and add them into your overall equation.
    Good versus Bad Things upon Which to Base Your Self-Esteem
Good Things
Bad Things
Sticking with a job you need even though your boss deserves an ass-kicking you can’t provide
Quitting and telling your boss to go fuck himself because nobody tells you when you can and can’t take a day off to see the new Fast and Furious movie
Biting your tongue when you’d rather bite someone’s head off
Getting the last word when that pregnant lady tried to steal your seat on the subway
Finishing last, knowing you gave all you had
Being the thinnest woman in your spin class, especially after finding a bike next to the fattest
Taking care of business when you feel like a total loser
Getting higher than Pluto for an entire weekend shift without getting fired or even pulled over
Working your hardest and finishing in a day what used to take you an hour
Having a gold iPhone. It’s so shiny!
Standing Up to Bullies
    Another big reason people put confidence on their wish list of missing and much-desired attributes is the wish to face down intimidation and humiliation in personal relationships, whether it’s from a boss, parent, or spouse. While calling such intimidators “bullies” seems like an awkward thing to do once you’ve graduated beyond the school bus and playground, the title still