Free 2 Unhitched by E.L. Sarnoff

I search the crowd. They’re gone!
    “You know, we didn’t really want to come today,” says Fairweather.
    “It’s been such a long time since we’ve used our fairy magic!” chimes Flossie.
    “The last time we used it on Princess Aurora was such a horrible experience!” exclaims Fanta.
    Princess Aurora? They know Aurora? A hazy recollection comes back to me. Of course, they were Sleeping Beauty’s fairy godmothers before they retired and became life coaches at Faraway. They must know everything about her!
    “Oh, have you seen Aurora here today?” I ask as calmly as I can.
    “We saw her earlier,” beams Flossie. “My gift of beauty really paid off.”
    Gulp!
    “As beautiful as ever,” chimes Fairweather.
    Gulp!
    “A knockout!” exclaims Fanta.
    Gulp! My blood is sizzling. And, by chance, does she have waist-length chestnut hair and move with the grace of a gazelle? My throat thickens. Before I can get the words out, the three Badass Fairies plow through crowd, heading toward the open French doors.
    “Wait!” I shout out, chasing after them.
    “We must get back to Faraway,” says Fairweather.
    “We can’t be late for our newest inmate,” says Flossie. “A very nasty fellow—Bluebeard. Our first wife murderer!”
    “And at our age, we need to give ourselves plenty of flying time,” says Fanta. Flossie and Fairweather shoot her a dirty look.
    “You must come visit,” says Fairweather as she adjusts her fairy wings and attempts, like her sisters, to bounce into the air. It takes them several embarrassing tries.
    “I’ll do that,” I reply. In fact, I’ll be there tomorrow. I want—and need—to know everything there is to know about Aurora. I’m going to take her down! Even it means being Faraway’s first mistress murderer.
    I elbow my way back through the crowd. My stomach muscles clench as my eyes search in every direction. Still no sign of Gallant and Aurora.
    Dazed and distracted, I bump head on into The Queen of Hearts. Humpty Dumpty, with his notepad and stylus in hand, is peering around her gown, all ears.
    “So, my dear, when are you going to give us a grandchild?” she asks, stuffing her mouth with a heapful of the red velvet cake.
    I’m so taken aback by her question that I stumble and knock her plate out of her hand. It lands on Humpty’s head, cracking it down the middle. Yellow goo oozes out as his eyes roll back into his head.
    I’m tempted to give the dazed egghead a scoop. First things first. Not before Gallant and I get a divorce!

Chapter 7

    T HE BADASS FAIRIES HAD BETTER be good for something, I think, as Faraway rises in the distance. The journey has been long and stressful, my stomach in knots every mile of the way. I’ve been unable to read the book I brought along. Or use the time to work on my next children’s book. I’ve been too distracted. Only one thing has been on my mind. Aurora.
    As my coach travels down the yellow brick road that leads to the gatehouse, an arsenal of memories explodes in my head. I remember the first time I saw Faraway, thinking I was being sent to a spa. Whoof! Was I wrong. It turned out to be a rundown rehab facility for people like me who were addicted to evil. Yes, I was here for a makeover. Just not the kind I was expecting.
    Memory after memory flashes through my head. The hair fairies who deloused my waist-length hair by chopping it all off… My first encounter with Elzmerelda and her evil scary-skinny sister Sasperilla… Bread making with Winnie… Our yoga classes with Fairweather… My painful therapy sessions with Shrink… And my humiliating group sessions with Dr. Grimm, where, one by one, my fellow inmates and I came to grips with our addictions and the demons of our pasts. And as the coach crosses over the moat, I shudder at the memory of my near-fatal escape. It’s been a little over two years, but it feels like only yesterday.
    “Jane, welcome back!” says the gatehouse guard. It’s Gulliver. The same goofy giant