cut my dick off.” I kiss her chastely, adding an afterthought, “You may have if you hadn’t found it, though.”
“That is very possible.”
I hold her head in my hands, kissing her deeply. “Thank you for forgiving me.”
“Whoa…who says I forgive you?”
“Um…”
“You need to make this up to me, my way.”
A groan escapes. “This can only mean I have boring churches, naked statues of David, and god-awful museums in my future.”
She nods at the look on my face. “Yep, that’s right, hot shot. Starting tomorrow. Get some sleep.”
She kisses me and says, “Now, I’ll take that bath.” Disappearing into the bathroom, she leaves me thinking that being castrated would have been an easier fate.
I came clean to the guys. It was inevitable, and only a matter of time before one of Trey’s jokes centered around me anyway. It was easier to just come out with it. Besides, I had to explain why I couldn’t hang out with them and instead had to tour the sights with Mandi. I’d rather them think of me as a perv than a pussy-whipped geek.
I warned Mandi I would be telling them. She was smart not to question my motive and has come to terms with the fact that my behavior has, and most definitely will always manifest severe embarrassment at every turn. It’s who she married.
My wife was gracious enough to excuse me from my hell when she met up with the rest of the girls to go shopping. As I sit here now, being berated by these three assholes, I’m wondering if shopping with the girls would have been the better choice.
“You should have seen the look on his face when he asked me if I had it,” Trey shares. He lets out a low, menacing chuckle. “She had it the whole time. Fucking priceless.”
“Shut up, dickwad.”
“Here I thought you were truly going through something awful, Hunt.” Jack rolls his eyes, annoyed at my truth. “Christ, I kept thinking something terrible was happening to you or Mandi. The reality is a fucking sex tape? Really, dude?”
“Hey, when did you become so self-righteous?”
“Fuck off.”
“What the hell crawled up your ass?”
“I have a lot of shit on my mind, you included. Sorry if I find this whole thing trivial.”
I’ve dealt with him and his shit more than anyone. How soon he forgets some of the trivial crap he’s made me deal with. He doesn’t get it.
“I can’t help the fact my life has been fairly boring in comparison to yours,” I admit, clearly showing my frustrations in my tone. “I get that you equate bad things to pregnant ex-girlfriends or people trying to kill you. Because of it, you and Leila have very realistic expectations of the media and all that comes from being famous rock stars. Thank God my wife hasn’t been exposed to that yet. This is a big deal for the Amattos. Having my wife bared in her most vulnerable state would kill her.”
Jack’s facial expression morphs from one of anger to one of compassion after my statement. “I’m sorry.”
“Whatever. It’s over now. Lesson learned, and all that fucking crap.”
He scrubs a hand over his face and shrugs. “I have a lot on my mind. I lumped you into it all. Honestly Hunt, I get it. You’re right.”
“You’re forgiven.” I point to Trey and Scott. “You two hear that? Mark the date. Jack Lair said I was right.”
“And he’s back to being a jackass,” Scott mumbles under his breath.
“You two gonna kiss now?” Trey asks.
Jack throws his empty beer can at Trey’s head.
“What’s the update with Shane?” I ask Jack, trying to steer this conversation away from me.
“She wants us to think about it more. She is concerned we are jumping into things too quickly.”
“Are you?”
He immediately shakes his head. “No. We both feel the same way. Shane was meant to be in our lives. We can’t walk away from that, from him.”
“It’s a big decision, dude.”
He stares me straight in the eyes and says, “It is and we are confident it’s the