looks of it, I’m going to want to save drinking anything more until after you tell me what you’re about to say.” As he reached out and tenderly placed his hand upon my bare knee, electricity shot through my body. “Luce, I know for you to have come back here after all this time, it must be worse than anything I could ever imagine. Call me an insensitive asshole, but I’m glad you needed to finally return.”
Jake’s eyes silently told me more than words that he needed me to come home, as though he wasn’t fully living his own life without me here. The two of us together had the ability to heal all wounds and light the flame that gave us a reason to smile and laugh again. Only now I wondered just how deep his hurt must have gone when I could only think about myself all these years. I knew how stupid I was to never come home sooner.
I reached out my free hand and lightly wrapped my fingers around his, squeezing softly so he realized no matter how much time had passed, we still had the ability to understand each other’s emotions.
I let out a long breath before shutting my eyes as all the images from that horrific night flashed through my mind. I heard Sam’s voice as she told me things happened for a reason, and if what we went through brought me back here and back to Jake, then I shouldn’t question it. After finally telling her about my history with Jake the other night, she understood my hesitation at first, but resolved to see where letting everything go led me.
As much as I wanted to keep my guard up with Jake, I knew I couldn’t. He’d been with me emotionally all these years, and as much as I pushed him away, I knew it was inevitable. He was my heart and soul, and he understood me more than anyone. He was my soul mate. Life just took a different direction in order for me to finally realize it.
I stood and made my way over to sit next to him on the sofa, keeping my glass of wine upright as I nuzzled myself into his warm, protective body. I felt his heart begin to race as much as mine as he cleared his throat. I couldn’t have him looking at me as I told him how my obsession, if you will, with him all these years ultimately led me right into the palms of the man who tried to kill me. I couldn’t have him stare at the scar on my neck and think he was part of the reason for my pain.
He wasn’t.
“Jake, I don’t even know where to begin,” I whispered. His arm wrapped even tighter around my shoulder as my hands wiped the wet condensation off the side of the wine glass. I felt his chin turn in my direction and his lips affectionately kiss the top of my head. There was no lust or heated desire behind his kiss. He was proving quickly that we had lost nothing over the years. This was he and I at our best. “The first thing you should probably know is that when I left here after high school I never stopped fantasizing about you. I never stopped loving you despite how much pain and anger I felt toward you for what you did to me.”
“Luce—” Jake murmured as he tried to explain his feelings at the time.
“Jake, please, I just need to get through my side before you say anything more,” I interrupted as Jake’s hand pushed some of my hair to the side, and I felt his thumb glide over the back of my neck. The simple gesture calmed my nerves.
“If I’m being one hundred percent honest with you, Jake, you need to know there hasn’t been a single guy I’ve slept with over the years that even compared to you. After talking to my therapist back East, I think I have come to realize that I slept with all those different guys because I was trying to hold on to what we had for so many years. Unfortunately, my lack of better judgment made me sleep with Sam’s ex-boyfriend who was in prison for three years for attempted murder. I didn’t have a clue what his name was or what he looked like at the time, so when I learned who he was I wanted to die. Little did I know Stone would be capable of nearly