Free Talk to Strangers: How Everyday, Random Encounters Can Expand Your Business, Career, Income, and Life by David Topus Page A

shows you’re willing to reveal something. This in turn gives the other person permission to reveal something as well. It also shows your transparency, which identifies you as safe and credible to the other party.
     
    Every venue offers something to which you can relate or remark upon. I was once on an elevator and shared with the other passenger (in a friendly, wondrous way) that I dream about being on elevators that go sideways. Lo and behold, she said she did, too, and from that moment on we were on our way—in more ways than one. “Do you spend a lot of time on elevators?” I asked, moving toward uncovering what she does for a living. Turns out she manages a team of service technicians, and that conversation led me to the name of the vice president of service for a friend of mine who was in the job market for such a position.
     
    I also recently met a woman on the subway. And by the way, I could have taken a cab that day, but knew I would be more likely to meet people if I put myself in public transportation. She was carrying (dare I say, struggling with) her roller suitcase down a long flight of stairs. She was already toward the bottom by the time I noticed her, so it was too late to offer to help. However, I did manage to make one simple comment that drew the biggest smile I saw all day—and triggered a conversation that went on for the following 20 minutes. I simply said, “They should invent a rolling suitcase for walking down stairs.” It was a perfect way to show empathy for her circumstance, and it led into the most natural conversation about how much she travels, why she travels, what she does for work, and what other kind of inventions we could imagine to make travel easier.
     
    I discovered that this woman works for a major fast food franchises opening new stores, hiring key personnel, and designing marketing programs for the launch. What a perfect connection for me. Now I have a friend, a contact, and a potential new client.
     
    Because most of us are interacting with some form of technology while we’re traveling (laptop, Bluetooth, BlackBerry, or iPhone), making a statement about whatever tool this is can serve as the perfect conversation opener. For example, you could say something to someone working on the latest iPhone release along the lines of: “That’s a nice piece of technology; is it everything I hear it is?” This is a natural and effective opening question to a conversation. And of course, “How do you like your (fill in type of technology)?” is the grand slam of conversation starters. Everyone has an opinion about whatever they’re using, whether it’s their laptop, smartphone, Bluetooth, tablet, or any other piece of electronic gear. This is an incredibly effective conversation starter for turning random encounters into profitable business relationships because it leads so naturally into a question about what the other person uses it for —which, in turn, enables you to uncover what kind of profession the person is in. We’ll talk more about that later.
     
    It’s important to try to match the other person’s verbal and nonverbal behavior. If the person tends to use short sentences, follow suit. If the person is walking slowly, you naturally will have to mirror that pace to carry on a conversation. Most people tend to like those who are similar. Ask more questions than you make statements. And try to listen more than you talk.
     
    Show sensitivity to and awareness of the other person as much as possible. Any positive comment you can make about the other person allows you to accomplish this. You can never go wrong with a compliment: nice suit, nice shoes, nice tie, nice purse, nice ring, nice briefcase, and so on. These will get you going in a great conversation direction.
     
    CASE STUDY: Tory K. overheard a conversation and walked into his biggest sale of the year.
     
As a director of business development in Latin America for a major shoe company that was based in