Free The Blackwater Lightship by Colm Tóibín Page A

that.'
    'Granny said I was to go and Father Griffin was to drive me up and Declan was to stay with you.'
    Father Griffin stood there listening carefully. Helen knew that she had sounded too sure of herself for him to disagree. He was a mild man, uncomfortable now and anxious to get away since his car was blocking the traffic.
    'So,' Helen said, 'if you could take Declan's things and then we'll see you later.' She was trying to sound brisk, like somebody from the television.
    'Hold on a minute,' Father Griffin said, 'and I'll park.'
    Declan took his bag from the boot and they stood outside Byrne's shop waiting for Father Griffin.
    'Isn't your grandmother very good?' Mrs Byrne said to Helen.
    'She's marvellous,' Helen said.
    Mrs Byrne looked up and down the street. 'Your poor mammy now will be glad to see you,' she said.
    'I'll go and wait in the car,' Helen said, and she walked across the Square to where Father Griffin had parked. As he left the driver's seat, she opened the passenger's door.
    'Will you be all right here?' he asked.
    'Yes, perfect,' she said confidently.
    She watched him walk across the Square and go into Byrnes' with Declan and Mrs Byrne. She knew what he was doing: he was telling Declan that his father was dead. She wondered why he was taking so long. Two passers-by saw her in the car and came over. She rolled down the window.
    'Are you waiting for your mammy?' they asked.
    'No,' she said. 'No, I'm not.'
    'Is she still in Dublin, the poor thing?'
    'Yes,' Helen said. She was trying to sound grand, as though used to being accosted by people like this.
    'Well, we're very sorry for your trouble.'
    'Thank you.' She knitted her brow and rolled up the window.
    When Father Griffin came out of Byrnes', he walked with his head down, hunched.
    'I'm not sure that we can leave you up there on your own,' he said. 'Mrs Byrne wants you to come back in.'
    'Oh, Mummy is very particular. Everything will have to be spick and span for her.'
    'But you can't be on your own in the house.'
    'No; I'll call on Mrs Russell, she's the one who's closest to Mummy, and she'll come in with me.'
    She pretended that she was a Protestant girl being driven to Lymington House by this slow country priest. She knitted her brow again. Father Griffin started the car. She wondered what had happened with Declan, what he was doing now.
    'Are you sure you'll be all right?' Father Griffin asked her.
    'Perfectly sure, father, perfectly sure. I'll go in and then I'll call on Mrs Russell.'
    He drove along John Street and then up Davitt Avenue.
    'You can leave me here, father, and we're very grateful to you.'
    He drove her to the house. She did not want him to know that she would have to climb in the kitchen window. She would have tried anything to make him drive away.
    'I'll take my case from the boot,' she said nonchalantly. 'I left it open. It's better to reverse back down, father, easier than trying to turn here.'
    She closed the door of the car and fetched her case and waved at him casually as she opened the garden gate. She walked around the side of the house without looking behind. She stood the case up, using it to reach the ledge of the kitchen window, and then levered herself up until she was able to kneel on the ledge. The clasp on the lock had been broken for years. She pulled the bottom part of the window up with all her strength. It opened just enough for her to lean in on to the draining board beside the sink, and edge her way into the kitchen. As soon as she stood up, she did not wait to close the window but went and opened the front door and found Father Griffin, as she expected, still sitting in his car looking at the house. With her right hand, she motioned him imperiously to go. She shut the door again and put her back to it, and closed her eyes. When she went into the front room and looked out of the window, she saw that he was already reversing the car; he was on his way. Now she had the house to