Free A Finer End by Deborah Crombie

he realized that one day soon he would no longer be able to look down at Kit, full stop. As yet, Kit had not outgrown childish things, and for that Kincaid was eminently grateful. Kit’s friend Nathan Winter had given the boy a microscope for hisbirthday, and their agenda for the morrow was collecting pond-water samples on Hampstead Heath. Girls and rock music would intervene soon enough; in the meantime, Kincaid had a lot of making up to do.
    His marriage to Kit’s mother had ended stormily and abruptly, and it was not until a few months ago that Kincaid had learned Vic had been pregnant when they separated. She’d been having an affair with one of her professors and had subsequently married him, passing the child off as his. It must have been obvious to her very early on that the boy was not Ian McClellan’s son, but Kincaid’s. Whether she’d meant to confess as much when she’d contacted him last spring, Kincaid would never know.
    She had been killed just a few weeks after she’d asked his help in the investigation of another death, leaving him with the sense of much unfinished between them.
    Now as he looked at Kit matching him stride for stride, he realized it no longer shocked him to see a younger version of himself. Nor did the boy’s resemblance to Vic—her smile, her gestures, her mannerisms—cause him as much pain as it had in the first weeks after her death.
    In due course, they reached Piccadilly Circus and from there made their way down Piccadilly towards Hyde Park. As they walked, some of Kit’s excitement infected Kincaid and he remembered how glorious he’d found the city when he’d first come to London two decades earlier. Kit met his eyes and they shared a smile of sheer delight in the bustle and color of it all.
    By the time they reached the Hard Rock Café, they were warm and ravenous. They emerged from the café an hour later, replete with cheeseburgers, French fries, and chocolate milkshakes, and with Kit in possession of a much-coveted T-shirt proclaiming the London Hard Rock as the Original.
    Across Piccadilly, Green Park beckoned, and they soon found a choice spot to stretch out in the grass. People sprawled on blankets or in awning-striped deck chairs,making the most of summer’s end. Although Kincaid usually found it difficult to relax in a public place, the sun soaked into his skin like a drug and his eyelids began to droop.
    He came awake with a start when Kit rolled over on his stomach and declared, “I wish we could have brought Tess.” Kit gestured at the number of dogs walking or trotting beside their masters, chasing Frisbees or just panting happily in the sun.
    “We couldn’t have done the videos, then,” Kincaid reminded him, rousing himself.
    “I know. I’m not complaining. It’s just nice here, that’s all.” Kit chewed a blade of the springy grass meditatively. “It’s sort of like wanting it to be just the two of us, but at the same time missing Gemma and Toby.”
    “That’s why Zen philosophers teach concentrating on the moment. Otherwise you miss now because you’re too busy wanting other things.”
    “Are you good at that—what did you call it?”
    “Concentrating on the moment? I don’t do it half as well as I’d like. But you’ve helped me be better.”
    “Me?”
    “When I’m with you, I don’t want to think about stuff like work. So when something niggly crops up in my head, I just think,
Go away
. And usually it does.”
    “But it doesn’t stop you missing Gemma, does it?”
    The question caught Kincaid like a punch. He stared at his son. Kit usually approached emotional issues with crablike self-protectiveness. “No,” he said, surprised into honesty. “It doesn’t.”
    “I don’t understand why she had to go away.”
    “She’s off on a training course, Kit. You know that.”
    “But why’d she have to put in for a promotion? Why couldn’t she just leave things the way they were?”
    Why indeed
, Kincaid thought bitterly. Oh,