committed suicide, was I?"
"Wel , she didn't. Apparently the razor blades shocked her out of it."
"Pity. I liked the idea of someone kil ing themself over me."
"Yes, wel , as sorry as I am to disappoint you, that's not the main issue, is it? The point is that Anna knows about it."
"So what?"
"So it hardly shows you in the best of lights, does it? We've spent al this time trying to create a good impression, and now this happens!"
"Donald, you worry too much. And you might have been trying to convince her that I'm nice and wholesome, but I haven't. That doesn't get you into bed with someone. The idea is to fire her with passion, not get her to vote me neighbour of the year."
"Yes, but even so'
"Trust me. It'l only make me seem more exciting. Girls love bastards. Al it's going to do is make her more intrigued." He paused, dramatical y. "And from what I've been told about Marty, she's probably desperate for somebody to give her a good time." I was clearly supposed to ask what that meant. I did.
"Can you remember the guy with dreadlocks on Saturday night?" he went on, appeased. "Wel , he's gay, and guess who he said he's seen hanging around gay clubs?" I was incredulous. "Marty?"
"Bingo."
"Are you sure?"
"Stevie was. After you'd al gone he said he recognised him from a club cal ed the Pink Flamingo."
"Is he certain it was Marty?"
"He said so. He remembered him because he was always alone and never spoke to anyone. Just sat there by himself
"That doesn't necessarily mean he's homosexual, does it?" Zeppo laughed. "If you can think of any other reason for going to a place where the waiters are topless and wear leather chaps, I'd like to hear it." I was prepared to believe almost anything of Marty. But this seemed too incredible. "Perhaps he didn't realise it was a gay club."
"Be serious." I stil could not accept it. "But what about Anna?"
"What about her? He might be bi, or trying to go straight." He chuckled. "Face it, Donald. Our Marty's a closet queen."
"My God." I did not know what to make of this at al . "Why didn't you tel me straight away?"
"What for? I've told you now haven't I? You couldn't have done anything if I had." Zeppo's revenge on me for laughing at him. "Do you think Anna knows?"
"I've no idea. I think she ought to, though, don't you?"
"You're going to tel her?"
"It's worth thinking about. But not just yet. It could easily piss her off at me if I'm not careful. Particularly if she already knows.
So I think we should just bear it in mind for now, and see what happens. It's always nice to keep something in reserve."
I could not agree more. "So what do you intend to do next?"
"Wel , al things considered, I think it's time to make a move."
"So soon? I thought you were going to take things slowly?"
"What do you think I've been doing? Jesus, you don't think I normal y wait this long, do you?"
"I stil think it's too early. We can't afford any setbacks."
"There won't be any."
"I don't know ..."
"Look, I don't tel you how to run a gal ery, do I? So don't try and tel me how to fuck a girl." His crudeness grated, but I thought it wiser to overlook it. "I'm not.
I simply don't want anything to go wrong."
"Donald, believe me, I know what I'm doing. She's primed and ready.
It's Tuesday today. By next weekend, I'l have had her." Despite his indelicacy, I felt my chest tighten with excitement.
"You're sure?"
"Positive." I hesitated, wondering how much to tel him. "There's one thing. I don't want you to do anything without letting me know first."
"What?"
"I want you to tel me when you think something's actual y going to happen. I want to know beforehand."
"You're joking!"
"No." There was an incredulous pause. "So if Anna decides to tear her pants off and throw herself at me, I've got to say, "Hang on, I've just got to tel Donald?" '
"I'm sure someone with your experience can arrange things better than that."
"For Christ's sake, though, why? What difference does it make?"
"Probably none. But