Free Teaching Willow: Session Four by Paige James

Lady and Rookie.  He pretty much reiterated the same things–that there was a restraining order and that I needed to stay away from him and not cause trouble.  Blah, blah, blah.
    It was the next day when I got really desperate. I started calling around to every hotel in the yellow pages asking for Ebon Daniels.  When that yielded nothing and neither did spending another night crying myself to sleep, I called around the next day asking for Noah Snell.  Still no luck. The only option left to me was blowing up his voice mail and staking out his house, both of which I did without giving them a second thought.
    The first week was pretty uneventful.  I parked outside Ebon’s house and watched it for hours on end.  No one came or went.  Nothing looked disturbed between the times when I left to go home and shower and then came back.  Until Tuesday of the second week.  That’s when the realtor showed up to put a sign in the yard.
    That sign dashed my hopes pretty effectively.  He obviously wasn’t coming back and I had no way of finding him.
    It was at the end of that second week that I got the idea to try to get some info from the realtor.  That didn’t work out very well either.  Evidently there are strict confidentiality guidelines between realtor and home buyers and sellers.  She could tell me all sorts of things about the house, but not a damn thing about Ebon.  I was proud of myself that I waited until after I’d hung up to call her a useless whore, along with a few other choice names.
    The three days and nights following that experience were pretty brutal.  I think that’s when it really set in that I probably won’t ever see Ebon again.  Unless he reaches out to me, that is.  But in the absence of that, it’s likely that I’ve seen the last of him.
    To say I’m devastated would be a tragic understatement, and to say that I’m having to fight to keep my head above water, emotionally speaking, would be awfully close to that same level of understatement.  But unlike years past, now I have something keeping me afloat, something that gives me hope for tomorrow regardless of what happens with Ebon. 
    The fourth night after the realtor shot me down is when my little miracle happened.  I felt the baby move for the first time.  Little more than a flutter in my abdomen, it might not seem like much, but to me, it changed everything.
     

TWENTY- EBON
     
    One of the few things that I purchased when I moved into my first story temporary home in Jacksonville was a calendar.  I learned from my time in the hotel room that days and nights have little meaning when you’re wandering aimlessly through life.  Time ceases to flow and exist like it has in the past.  But I have a date that I need to keep an eye on, which is the reason for the calendar.  I circled the day that the restraining order expires and I’m crossing off every day that passes, counting down until I can send Willow my story.  To send her my apology.  I hope beyond hope that it makes a difference, although I have my doubts that it will.  Most importantly, however, I just want her to know, just know what happened and why, and what’s in my heart.  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to really let her go, but it’ll make it more bearable if I think that she’s read my word, if I believe that she knows how I feel.  If that changes nothing, then I’ll have done everything within my power to make it right.  Even if none of it worked.
     

TWENTY-ONE- WILLOW
     
    “You seriously need to stop eating so much. You’re a damn cow!” Sage blurts as I sit on the couch eating my breakfast.  I’m sure she’s enjoying that I’m the one struggling with weight now. 
    I want to laugh at her, to tell her that she’s so fucking stupid that she can’t even tell that I’m pregnant.  I know that I’m hiding it well. I’m watching my diet closely, doing everything I can to make sure the baby is healthy, so I’m not gaining much weight.  My