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salesgirl made him feel important by saying:
“Young man, what can I show you?”
He stood a couple of inches taller and said: “I want to
buy a bed for myself.”
When he was shown the one his mother wanted him
to buy, she winked at the salesgirl and the boy was persuaded
to buy it.
The bed was delivered the next day; and that night,
when Father came home, the little boy ran to the door
shouting: “Daddy! Daddy! Come upstairs and see my
bed that I bought!”
The father, looking at the bed, obeyed Charles
Schwab’s injunction: he was “hearty in his approbation
and lavish in his praise.”
“You are not going to wet this bed, are you?” the father
said. " Oh, no, no! I am not going to wet this bed.” The boy
kept his promise, for his pride was involved. That was
his bed. He and he alone had bought it. And he was
wearing pajamas now like a little man. He wanted to act
like a man. And he did.
Another father, K. T. Dutschmann, a telephone engineer,
a student of this course, couldn’t get his three-year
old daughter to eat breakfast food. The usual scolding,
pleading, coaxing methods had all ended in futility. So
the parents asked themselves: “How can we make her
want to do it?”
The little girl loved to imitate her mother, to feel big
and grown up; so one morning they put her on a chair
and let her make the breakfast food. At just the psychological
moment, Father drifted into the kitchen while
she was stirring the cereal and she said: “Oh, look,
Daddy, I am making the cereal this morning.”
She ate two helpings of the cereal without any coaxing,
because she was interested in it. She had achieved
a feeling of importance; she had found in making the
cereal an avenue of self-expression.
William Winter once remarked that "self-expression is
the dominant necessity of human nature.” Why can’t we
adapt this same psychology to business dealings? When
we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think
it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves.
They will then regard it as their own; they will
like it and maybe eat a couple of helpings of it.
Remember: “First, arouse in the other person an eager
want. He who can do this has the whole world with him.
He who cannot walks a lonely way."
PRINCIPLE 3
Arouse in the other person an eager want.
In a Nutshell
FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN
HANDLING PEOPLE
PRINCIPLE 1
Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
PRINCIPLE 2
Give honest and sincere appreciation.
PRINCIPLE 3
Arouse in the other person an eager want.
PART TWO
Ways to Make People
Like You
DO THIS AND YOU’LL BE WELCOME
ANYWHERE
Why read this book to find out how to win friends? Why
not study the technique of the greatest winner of friends
the world has ever known? Who is he? You may meet
him tomorrow coming down the street. When you get
within ten feet of him, he will begin to wag his tail. If
you stop and pat him, he will almost jump out of his skin
to show you how much he likes you. And you know that
behind this show of affection on his part, there are no
ulterior motives: he doesn’t want to sell you any real
estate, and he doesn’t want to marry you.
Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal
that doesn’t have to work for a living? A hen has to lay
eggs, a cow has to give milk, and a canary has to sing.
But a dog makes his living by giving you nothing but
love.
When I was five years old, my father bought a little
yellow-haired pup for fifty cents. He was the light and
joy of my childhood. Every afternoon about four-thirty,
he would sit in the front yard with his beautiful eyes
staring steadfastly at the path, and as soon as he heard
my voice or saw me swinging my dinner pail through
the buck brush, he was off like a shot, racing breathlessly
up the hill to greet me with leaps of joy and barks of
sheer ecstasy.
Tippy was my constant companion for five years.