Free Fat by James Keene

and pleading with Kate and Albert, and repeating the same diction to Xander himself, probably penetrated like bullets into Wonder Woman’s bracelets.  No one really gives a shit what their doctor says; words from a lab-coated nerd are not motivation to do anything.  The motivation to lose weight is usually comes from a small catalog of possibilities: getting sick of shame and ridicule, realizing life is getting shittier and shorter because of fat, or getting a taste of something better than food.  Sometimes that tipping point comes from being led off an amusement park ride in front of a winding line of snickering, impatient people because even with the efforts of multiple attendants, the safety belt just couldn’t get around.  Or keeling over with crushing chest pain while walking to work during the morning rush, and because it takes multiple attempts by two paramedics and three passerbyers to get loaded into the ambulance, and because time is cardiac muscle, a minor heart attack gets delayed into a major one and produces lengthened time for in-hospital contemplation.  Xander changed because he got a taste of something better than food.  Xander got a taste of being a jock, being part of a team, and didn’t mind passing on a few cheeseburgers to have more peeps, parties and panties roll his way.        
         “Alright Xander, I’m going to start by asking you a few questions I ask all teenagers.”
         “Okay.”
         “Ever use alcohol?”
         “Nope.”
         “Tobacco?”
         “Never.”
         “Drugs?”
         “Nope.”
         “Any of your friends use drugs?”
         “Unless you count Xbox as a drug.”
         “How about supplements?”
         “No, I don’t think taking some weird herb can actually make you better at sports.”
         “Steroids?”
         “C’mon, Dr. Grant, that’s just stupid.  And I’m not even close to being that ripped.  I look barely muscled, much less over-muscled.  And who wants a pizza for a back and a pair of honey roasted peanuts for testes?”
         “Hey, I have to ask or I wouldn’t be doing my job, right?” Xander smiled with a shrug.  “Have you ever been sexually active?”
         “Yes.”
         Whoa.  Looks like Xander’s weight loss really opened a lot of doors for him.  He was a pretty good looking kid with his extra weight gone.  Seems like that is how most overweight people are: attractive people hiding underneath layers and layers of adipose.  Watch the mommy weight loss episodes of Oprah , or read the weight loss human interest stories in People , or turn in for the entire arc of The Biggest Loser – usually the people that have to lose over fifty percent of their body weight in order to return to average turn out to be good looking people.  Of course it helps that those publicized images tend to have good lighting and makeup and editors, a tight selection process, access to photoshop and a horrible “before” comparison image, but regardless, these once obese people could easily be a cast for a potential GAP ad.  It seems like Xander was living the life of an attractive person now.      
         “How many partners for you, Xander?”
         “Forty.  Forty-seven if you count prostitutes.”
         “What?”
         “Ha, ha, gotcha doc.  I’ve never been sexually active.  Did you see what I looked like before? Not many girls want to get boned by a beanbag chair with a little smokie sticking out of it.  Plus, I don’t think mom would be cool with becoming a grandmother right now.”
         Xander has gotten hilarious.  A new physique, a new personality – Xander was on his way to becoming a heartwarming story.  Though under the mesh of his jersey, I could see he was wearing a T-shirt with an Emperor penguin on it.  It was even more impressive that he still held true to his geeky interior while changing his