Free Written in Blood by Chris Collett

she’d felt abandoned or hard done by, but by the time Mariner was old enough to understand their situation she’d had years to come to terms with it.
    On the other hand, Ryland could have simply been scared of the prospect of fatherhood in much the same way as Mariner was now. With a flush of guilt Mariner remembered his reaction six years ago when his then-girlfriend Greta had announced out of the blue that she was pregnant. He’d been shocked and appalled. They’d only known each other a year and had never even discussed the idea of children. Had Rose pulled the same stunt on Ryland? Mariner’s reaction to Greta had hardly been supportive. Luckily, if that was the word, he’d got away with it, discovering later that Greta had miscarried their baby. But if he couldn’t handle it as a mature adult of forty, how would he have felt at twenty years younger?
    The disparity in his situation of course was that Greta’s actions had been calculated. Things would have been very different for Rose in 1959. The pill didn’t come in until two years later and other forms of contraception were pretty unreliable. Ryland would have known if he was sleeping with Rose that pregnancy was always a risk. The likely scenario, as Mariner had suspected for some time, was that he’d been an accident. But along with that rationale had been the comfortable assumption that his father, whoever he might be, had never been told. What disturbed him now was the revelation that Ryland did know about him and must have done from the start. It was beginning to look as if failing to face up to paternal responsibility could be a hereditary disposition.

Chapter Five
     
     
    Rose’s letters would help to clarify things. First Mariner arranged them in chronological order, starting from when he’d have been about three months old.
    There were apologies from her to begin with for not having responded sooner to a letter Ryland must have sent: ‘ . . . but you wouldn’t believe how much time a new baby takes up. Not much time to sit and write. I know this is hard for all of us but I’m sure that in the fullness of time you’ll see that it’s for the best. Your parents only want what’s right for you and now I can understand what a powerful force that is. Already Thomas and I have our own routine and it wouldn’t fit with yours. He likes to cry for most of the evening. It would hardly enhance your studying!’
    Then later: ‘ As Thomas gets older it will be more difficult for him to understand. I think it might be better if your visits stopped. I know it’s difficult for you to spare the time anyway. And it will be more complicated, when he begins to talk.’
    Then when Mariner was aged two and a half: ‘ The girl you’ve met sounds lovely, congratulations on your engagement. It was quite a surprise, and I really do hope you’ll be happy. Diana sounds good for you, and you’re right. She mustn’t know about us. After what she’s been through we’re the last thing that she needs. You must look forward to the future and starting a family of your own together.
    ‘ Thomas and I have a good life. In a few weeks we will be moving away from London and it’s best that you don’t try to get in touch. Mum and Dad are helping out so we won’t need financial support. If you honour this wish I will continue to keep you abreast of Tom’s progress but if you don’t then communication will cease entirely. We each have our own lives now. We always have had, haven’t we ?’
    The final letter was postmarked Leamington, but there was no address given at the top of the page.
    It could hardly have been put more plainly. The decision to go it alone was Rose’s, something she’d been cheerful about, even proud of. The letters he’d read offered nothing to dispute it. The thing he’d never learn was exactly how far the young Geoffrey Ryland had gone in guiding her into that way of thinking.
    Disappointingly, though not surprisingly, the letters were all