Free Condemned by Gemma James

you’re going?”
    “You fucking choked me!”
    “You fucking came.”
    “Are you trying to kill me? Do you hate me that much?”
    “I don’t hate you that much , Alex.” He moved one arm from my waist and wound a fist in my hair. “You need to remember I’m the one in control here. Just because you have a hot pussy doesn’t mean you can disobey me. When I say no orgasms, I mean no orgasms.”
    Intense hurt welled, unstoppable, and I let out a sob. More followed until I was bawling like a baby. He’d taken something from me—something I’d held onto for years. He’d taken my first time with him, had sullied the memory with his cruelty.
    That was something I’d never get back, and it hurt so incredibly bad because he didn’t seem fazed. I was just another piece of ass. Even worse, I was someone who deserved his contempt.
    I did deserve his hatred, but I didn’t deserve to die.
    “Stop crying, or I’ll put you back in the cellar.”
    “Why do you have to be such an asshole?”
    “Why did you have to send me to prison?” he shot back, adding another painful yank on my hair.
    “I didn’t want to. God, Rafe…I didn’t want to.”
    “I’m done tiptoeing around this. Either tell me why you did it, or I’ll choke you again.”
    Another sob escaped, and I tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come.
    He rolled me to my back, pinned both wrists to the mattress with one hand, and circled my throat with the other. My pulse pounded out of control. But he didn’t apply pressure. Instead, he stared into my eyes, as if searching for an answer.
    “Please…don’t. Please…” More tears seeped from my eyes and dripped down the sides of my face. He leaned down and licked them up.
    “Either tell me the truth, or you go nighty-night again.”
    “Please!” I begged. “I didn’t want to do it. Rafe…you have no idea.”
    “Oh, I think I do. That’s the interesting thing about being locked up, Alex. I had way too much time to think. You wanted me, only I wasn’t giving in, was I?” He lowered his face until we were nose to nose. “You couldn’t handle the rejection.”
    I didn’t know if I was more appalled or indignant over his assumptions.
    “Admit it! You were nothing but a pampered, spoiled little brat, and you didn’t think twice about throwing me away like trash when you didn’t get what you wanted.”
    “I loved you!” I screamed into his face. “I loved you so fucking much.” I turned my head and wished the mattress would split open and swallow me.
    Oh God. I was ten shades of mortified.
    His silence weighed more heavily than his body did. He flexed his fingers around my locked wrists. “You have a funny way of showing it,” he finally said.
    I had no answer to that. His hand twitched around my throat, still threatening punishment. “Please, Rafe,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “Don’t do this.”
    “Don’t do this? You have no idea what you did,” he said. “I want to squeeze every last breath from you. I want to fucking break you until you’re nothing but pieces in my arms.”
    “Please,” I gasped.
    “They raped me in there, Alex.”
    I couldn’t breathe, and not because his hands threatened to shut off my air, but for the first time, I really allowed myself to see what I’d done to him. “Kill me,” I said, hot, salty drops of regret trickling into my mouth. “I deserve it.”
    He narrowed his eyes—eyes suddenly bright with pain—and pressed harder on my throat.
    My mouth opened, and I gasped as spots floated in the air. The room narrowed, walls closing in a little more with each thump of my heart. I thought it would pound out of my chest. “Do it,” I squeaked.
    “ Fuck me,” he choked out. The vulnerability in his tone tore me in two. He let go of my throat, and I sucked in air until I thought my lungs would burst.
    “I wish I could take it back,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. I’d caused him so much pain, had ruined his life. I’d done this to