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and says, “Isn’t it awful that lying would have made our lives easier? That I can’t even be honest with my parents?”
    I know we’re talking about something serious, but her hand on my hand has made it hard for me to listen. It’s like my entire body is freaking out. I say as calmly as I can, “That’s messed up.”
    â€œYou don’t ever lie to your parents?”
    My brain (and other parts) is still buzzing but I focus. I now have no idea what to do with my hand. Do I leave it there? Do I turn it and hold hers? I’m such a freaking idiot. I have no idea what to do. Tess is looking at me and waiting for an answer to her question, and now I’ve forgotten what she said.
    â€œWhat?”
    She laughs and squeezes my hand. “I said, do you ever lie to your parents?”
    â€œI guess sometimes about stupid stuff. Like, if I finished my homework. I’m definitely not supposed to be outside with you right now. Nothing like lying about my beliefs. They just want me to think for myself.”
    â€œIf I tell the truth, they might hate me. Like my brother.”
    â€œThey don’t hate your brother,” I say, feeling my pulse calm down.
    â€œHow do you know?”
    â€œYour mom looked sad when you brought him up last night.”
    â€œYeah, well, it was my dad’s decision to cut him out. Not my mom’s.”
    â€œDoesn’t your mom have a say?”
    â€œIn their faith, the man is the head of the household. His is the final word.”
    â€œSeriously? That’s effed. That’s like, how things were a century ago, not now.”
    â€œYeah, well, they believe women are supposed to be subservient to their husbands. And my mom is, even when it hurts her.”
    â€œWow. Sucks to be a girl,” I say. “And what about your brother? Did your dad cut him out right away?”
    â€œHe had already gone to college when he told them his feelings on religion, so he was out of the house and it wasn’t as big a deal for him. I still have to live with my parents for three more years. I don’t even know what they would do if I told them what I think.”
    â€œI think for now you’ve just got to keep going with the flow.”
    â€œYou’re not,” Tess says.
    â€œYeah, but it’s not my family I’m risking. It’s just any kind of normal social life. And really, what kind of life was I going to have pretending to believe in god anyway? I’d be lying all the time. You at least believe in god. You’re only partly lying.”
    â€œI guess. Lying to my family doesn’t make me a great Christian though.”
    â€œYou should talk to your brother about it,” I say. “He’ll get it. And we’ll find ways to see each other. You’re the only friend I’ve got out here.”
    She squeezes my hand and says, “Friend?”
    â€œWell, um. Friend or something else?”
    â€œI vote for something else.”
    I sit there, frozen. She’s looking at me. Does that mean she wants me to . . .
    â€œI really like you Ben.”
    â€œI really like you too,” I say. My body is freaking out again.
    â€œSo . . .”
    â€œCan I . . .”
    â€œYes,” she says quickly.
    â€œYou don’t know what I was going to say.”
    â€œYou were going to ask if you could kiss me.”
    â€œAnd you said yes.”
    â€œI did.”

 
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    Chapter 11
    Who Needs Friends When You Have a Girlfriend
    The next morning as I get ready for school, the fact that I have no friends doesn’t bother me at all. I’ve got a girlfriend. A girl who is nice, smart, pretty, and thinks I’m awesome. I couldn’t even sleep last night. Even though I didn’t come back inside the house until 2 a. m. and had to wake up at seven. And now, I’ve had more than my first real kiss. I think we kissed for an hour. Which means I’m probably on kiss number three