Free A Moment by Marie Hall Page B

to me, stirs up a hornet’s nest of emotions is also someone I can’t dare bring myself to trust.
     
    Because he’d tried to kill himself.
     
    A woman can’t fix a man.
     
    I learned that the day Papa walked out on us. No matter how much love, no matter how many desperate pleas, if he doesn’t want to change, he won’t.
     
    I close my eyes, drifting away on a fog of woe when Javi starts grunting.
     
    My pulse speeds. Twisting in my seat I look at him.
     
    “Papi? You okay?”
     
    He’s looking out the window, his grunts growing louder.
     
    Ryan turns to me. “What’s wrong? What’s he doing?”
     
    Taking my purse off my shoulder, I rummage around inside, searching for the disc. “He’s tired and getting cranky. Music makes him feel better.”
     
    Ryan clicks on the stereo, rap beats blares through the speakers.
     
    Javi’s grunting so loud now that it sounds animalistic. His tiny hands are balled into fists in his lap.
     
    “No,” I snap, then take a deep breath, “I’m sorry, no. Please, he likes…” finally finding the CD I pull it out, “he likes this. Can I play it, please?”
     
    “Fleetwood Mac?” Frowning, Ryan takes it from my hand.
     
    “Loves it.”
     
    He inserts the disc.
     
    “Number two.”
     
    He clicks the knob.
     
    The moment the haunting strains of Silver Springs drifts through the car, the grunting begins to quiet.
     
    Ryan’s jaw ticks.
     
    Miserable, I touch the tip of my finger to his clenched hand on the wheel. Blue eyes roll toward mine.
     
    “I’m… I’m sorry, Ryan. It’s just that he…”
     
    Shaking his head, he moves his hand away, letting me know I’m not allowed to touch. My throat aches and my eyes burn.
     
    I’d blown it. God I’m so stupid. It’s not that I didn’t like the kiss.
     
    I’d loved it.
     
    Every damn moment of it and it had scared the hell out of me.
     
    The way his big, rough hands had cupped my arms, making me feel so small and vulnerable. How his body had leaned in closer and his smell of cologne had wrapped itself around my head, making me dizzy and breathless. My insides had twisted as heat spiraled hot and liquid down my spine, settling between my legs.
     
    I’d never wanted it to end.
     
    Javi starts grunting again. I know what he wants.
     
    Flicking my eyes toward Ryan’s face, I don’t want to do this. Not here. The tension’s so thick; singing isn’t exactly something I do in front of people anyway.
     
    Squeezing my eyes shut I sing. Sing the words I’d sung a million times before, how he’d never get away from the sound of the woman that loves him, how my voice would haunt him, time casts a spell…
     
    It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and somehow I manage to do it without warbling. My voice isn’t bad, it’s not the greatest either, but it’s the one thing I think Javi ever really liked about me.
     
    The moment the song ends he’s asleep, head rolled to the side, his full lips puffed open and looking sweet and so very, very normal.
     
    “That was beautiful,” Ryan whispers.
     
    Sniffing, I rub the tip of my nose. “Thanks. Look, I’m sorry about the zoo. But I told you--”
     
    I see my street finally and a wave of relief engulfs me. Clicking on the blinker, Ryan stops at the stop sign before turning onto it.
     
    “I know. My bad, Liliana. I just forgot myself. My bad.”
     
    If I don’t get out of this car soon I’m going to bawl like a baby. Tears and I, they don’t mix well. My face gets all splotchy and my nose as big and puffy as Rudolph’s.
     
    Parking, he doesn’t look at me again.
     
    “Okay.” I nod. “Thank you, it was a great day.”
     
    What a liar I am. It had been, until I’d gone and gotten all stupid about the kiss.
     
    It was just a kiss, I don’t know why I can’t just leave it alone; go back to the way we’d been. Stop overthinking it, but how do you stop thinking about seeing someone covered in his own blood, bleeding out all