That’s why I’ve included the above exercises. So enjoy yourself, repeat them as many times as you like, but remember that the pleasure you’re getting right now is only one of the payoffs.
C H A P T E R S E V E N
AROUSED AND AWARE
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Y ou have to know where you are to know where you’re going. Unfortunately most men have a very limited awareness of their own sexual responses and they don’t always know what they are feeling or experiencing at the moment.
They know that something pleasurable is happening, but they don’t know exactly what that something is. They know that they’re aroused, that’s for sure, but they aren’t in touch with the subtleties of their own experience. This is very limiting, both for the man and for his partner.
This chapter teaches a man how to know what is happening to his body during the various stages of arousal. He will learn how to listen to what his body is telling him, and how to work with those signals to maximize both his pleasure and the pleasure he is giving his partner.
How Aroused Are You?
Ask the average man if he’s feeling aroused and what does he say? “Yes” or “No.” Ask him to describe his arousal and what does he say? Not a whole lot more. But talk to a multiorgasmic man about his arousal and you’re having a very different conversation. Multiorgasmic men are masters of their own arousal. They know the nuances of their erotic experience and take advantage of their sensitivity to prolong and magnify that experience. Ask a multiorgasmic man to describe his arousal and he’ll give you at least five pages, single spaced. He might even throw in a poem.
Sexual arousal is actually a very complex and sophisticated process. There are many levels of
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arousal, each having its own distinct sensations and intensity.
Some shifts are subtle, some are profound, but it is not a black or white thing. It’s a lot more like a rainbow. What we are going to focus on right now is learning to recognize and appreciate these different colors of the rainbow by becoming more aware of the subtle differences of each one.
Once you are sensitized to your many levels of arousal, you will have a much more intimate relationship with your own body. That becomes really important when you start working with your body toward your first multiple orgasm.
If multiple orgasm is your goal, being aroused is not enough.
You must be aroused and aware. It’s like learning to write music. Everything may sound nice to your ear, but it’s hard to write a song until you know all of the notes on the scale.
The more you refine your ear, the easier it gets. Sharps and flats are more subtle, but they are extremely important too.
By the time you’ve completed the exercises in this chapter, you are going to know the various levels of your own arousal the way a composer knows the notes on the scale.
To make this easier, we are going to establish a scale of our own: an arousal scale.
Learning the Scales
Our arousal scale is going to be a very simple scale that goes from one to ten, with Level 1 being the lowest level of arousal and Level 10 being the highest.
Let’s begin with Level 1. Level 1 is your baseline. What does it feel like? Let me give you an example. It’s Saturday afternoon on a hot summer day. You’ve just finished your lunch and you’re
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thinking of doing the laundry. Your dog wants to go for a walk and your car needs a wash. There isn’t a sexual thought in your head. You are not experiencing any arousal whatso-ever. None. Zero. Nada. Get the picture? At that moment, you are at Level 1.
Let’s now jump to Level 10. That’s an easy one. Level 10
is orgasm. The Big “O.” The end of the road.
Great. Now all we need to do is establish everything in between. A Level 2 or Level 3 is that slight twinge sensation a man gets at the base of his penis as he begins to get aroused.
The