Free Poisoned Cherries by Quintin Jardine

important client for us, our biggest, in fact, but the thing is, he’s very difficult to deal with.   What he wants he gets, and if you can’t give it to him, you’re out; fired, no appeal, that’s it.
    “My problem is that when we got the business, part of my pitch said that we would arrange a big opening ceremony for the new headquarters, and that we would have a national celebrity to cut the tape.   That’s where I was hoping .. .”
    I gasped; I couldn’t help it.   “You want me to open this guy’s office?”
    She flushed, and let out a nervous sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a cough.   “Well, not exactly... I mean it would be great if you could come on the day as well, but..   .
    “The thing is, Mr.   Torrent wants Ewan to perform the ceremony; in fact he’s told me that if I can’t get him to do it, he’ll give his business to another company.   He means it too.   It would be a disaster for us, Oz, if we lost that account so quickly.   He’s our biggest client and word would get around the marketplace like wildfire.   On top of that, he owes us quite a bit of money.   He’s a very slow payer, and I reckon that if he fires us we’ll never see any of it.   We’ve bought in things for him, printed material, high quality photography, and we’ve paid our suppliers already.   We could go belly-up if he defaults on us.”
    I had a sudden vision of Alison, belly-up.   I also guessed what she was leading up to, but I played it out.
    “I see your problem.   So how do you want me to help?   I can think of one way.   Remember that guy Liam at GWA, who gave you my number?   He could pay your man Torrent a visit, with a couple of the boys.   You might not keep the business, but you’d get your money, even if it did have blood and snot all over it.”
    “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that,” she said gloomily.   “I’m not so sure they could frighten this man, though.”
    “You’ve never met big Jerry.”   I laughed to myself at the thought of my enormous friend.   “But if that’s not a runner, do you want me to introduce you to a good lawyer?   My guy Greg would sue him for you, I’m sure.”
    “That would take too long.   The bank’s getting twitchy about our overdraft as it is.   No, Oz, what I’m hoping is that you’ll agree to approach Ewan on our behalf.”
    My guess had been spot on.   “Christ, Alison, I don’t even know the guy.
    Why can’t you ask him?   Okay, so he pinched your boyfriend’s bird once.   Big deal.   If you talk to him he might fancy his chances of doing it again.”
    “That’s one reason why I can’t,” she shot back.   “But it goes deeper than that.   Ewan does not like his name being over the door of our company.   He wrote to us and asked us to call ourselves something else, but David wouldn’t hear of it.   He can’t do anything about it... I mean, he doesn’t hold the copyright on it or anything .. . but his father told David’s father that Ewan thinks we’re cashing in on his fame, and he’s furious about it.   Even David’s father and uncle aren’t speaking now because of it.
    “No, I can’t talk to him; it would be difficult even if David would let me.   Help me, Oz, you’re our only hope.”
    “Fuck me!   You sound just like Carrie Fisher in Star Wars.   Listen, I may have entered Jedi as my religion on the last census form, but it doesn’t mean I am one.   I’m a supporting actor; he is big time.   I’ve got no grease with the man; he’ll barely even say hello to me on set.”
    “Oz, you could talk anybody into anything if you put your mind to it.   My God, you talked your way into me, and no one had done that before.”
    I raised an eyebrow.   “Oh yeah?   You reckon I could do it again, then?”
    She looked at me, over her glass; I saw that her hand was trembling, very slightly.   “If that’s what it takes to get you to talk to Ewan,” she whispered.
    I nodded towards