Free Even When You Lie to Me by Jessica Alcott Page B

me as I danced. Lila sang at me, bouncing and laughing, and I found myself laughing and singing back.
    I glanced at Drummond. He was finally looking at us, but he didn’t see me watching him. As much as I hated dancing in public, I had imagined this scene many times at home: pretending to sing to him into my TV remote as I listened to a love song. But now the thought of him seeing me was humiliating. At home I was a siren and he was enraptured by my performance, but here I was just another awkward teenager and he was a bored teacher, wondering when he could get home.
    I settled down to slow swaying. Lila was still dancing with a kind of liquid ease I knew I couldn’t match. I felt like a shadow of her. I watched Drummond, who was alone now, to see how often he looked at her. He never watched her very long, but his eyes flicked back a couple times. Every time he glanced in her direction, a clot of fear stuck in my throat. Eventually he noticed that I was watching him, and he smiled at me and waved.
    I left Lila to a group of dancers she’d found. She didn’t seem to notice that I’d left.
    “You made it,” I said, standing close to him so he could hear me over the music.
    He leaned in closer, shaking his head. He smelled warm, like clothes fresh from the dryer. “Sorry, you might have to shout at me—the loudest thing I listen to these days is NPR.”
    “It wasn’t important! Are you having fun yet?”
    “In a Jane Goodall kind of way, yes. Why aren’t you out dancing with your very, uh, dexterous peers?”
    I turned back to Lila, who was now being humped by Jason Tierney.
    “Not my speed,” I said.
    He nodded. “I was never much for dancing either. I looked sort of like a monkey being electrified.”
    “Seemed like you were about to be dragged out to dance earlier.”
    He rolled his eyes. “Kids.”
    I didn’t know whether to laugh with him, as if I weren’t a kid myself, or feel chastised.
    “You’re wearing my dress,” he said.
    I looked down at it and then up at him. “What?”
    “The dress I said I was going to—”
    “Wear in class. Right.” I looked down again. “You’d probably pull it off better than me.”
    He laughed. “I doubt that very much.”
    I blushed, not sure how to take that.
    He looked over at Lila’s group. “Why don’t you go back?” he said. “I’m just going to stand here and be boring and drink disgusting spiked—what is this? Punch?” He took a sip and grimaced. “RC Cola? Mr. Pibb?”
    “Tang, I think,” I said.
    “That explains the metallic note,” he said, “but not the burning.”
    I wanted to tell him I felt more comfortable standing there with him, but I wasn’t sure whether he wanted to get rid of me so he could talk to the other chaperones.
    “Or stay,” he said. “I could use the company. You can make sure I don’t start slurring in case I’ve been drugged with off-brand cola.”
    I smiled at him, hoping I didn’t seem too relieved. I watched Lila for a few minutes as she flirted with Jason, grinding against him in her tight black dress, which was so short that it seemed to dare you to look up under it. He pretended to slap her ass and she laughed and moved closer. I glanced at Drummond, but he wasn’t watching her anymore. Then I noticed Jason’s friends—the ones who’d been at the pool. The tanned one—Austin—had been hovering behind him, but now he moved forward, not dancing, just looking at Lila and Jason.
    I watched him out of the corner of my eye as Drummond said something I couldn’t hear. I knew as soon as Austin saw me he’d come over: me with my ruffled dress and old shoes like a flag at full mast. It wasn’t even that I knew he would say something cruel. It was that he’d do it in front of Drummond, and then there would be no way to pretend that he could ever feel anything but pity for me.
    “It’s you!” Austin said as he came close. He leaned down next to me, his breath hot in my ear. “He’s never going to