Free Chopper Ops by Mack Maloney Page A

Gillis growled at them upon arrival.
    Neither Norton or Delaney moved a muscle. They remained seated and simply looked up at the two National Guard pilots.
    "What's your problem?" Delaney asked them calmly.
    "You dickheads twisted something to get us assigned here. That's the problem," Ricco said through gritted teeth. "Now we're stuck out in the middle of nowhere, without a clue as to what the deal is."
    "Hey, join the club," Delaney said dismissively.
    Gillis, the taller of the two, leaned in closer to them.
    "We know this is some kind of weirdo practical joke of yours," he said angrily. "And I swear, when I get the chance, I'll kill both of you twice."
    Delaney just laughed at him. Norton didn't. His shoulders were still feeling a bit heavy.
    "I was asked to recommend a solid refueling crew for this mission," Norton told them. "And you were the first choice. That's the story, straight and square. Besides, I've got better things to do than play practical jokes on you two lugnuts."
    "We're going to be away from home for two fucking months," Ricco said, seething now with each syllable. "Do you know that? We got homes, families, things to do—not like you two cowboys."
    Norton just glared up at Ricco. Oh, yeah, recommending the Air Guard crew had been a mistake, he thought. But not for the reasons he'd been dreading.
    He finally stood up and faced both men.
    "Look, you meatballs," he said. "We're in the fucking military here. The service of the United States. You got a letter from the President, for Christ's sake. There's a mission to be flown and they asked for the best and I said you guys because you are the best at air-to-air. But I guess being an asshole doesn't make any difference when it comes to that."
    Ricco and Gillis were suddenly stumped. Was Norton really flag-waving, or was it just part of a bigger gag?
    "I got no desire to fly anything involving you two," Gillis finally retorted. "Besides, I don't have the faintest idea how to fly a helicopter, nor do I want to."
    Now it was Norton who was surprised.
    "Helicopter?" he asked. "They want you guys to fly a copter too?"
    "Don't play cute," Ricco told him. "Like you didn't know?"
    Norton just shook his head. "How the fuck would I know? No one knows anything about what's happening here."
    Gillis took one more step towards Norton. He really was a huge guy, and Norton was sure that if he wanted to, Gillis could squash him like a bug.
    "Like I said, I don't want to be involved in anything that includes you two assholes," Gillis hissed.
    "Ditto," Ricco chimed in.
    Now Delaney was suddenly on his feet.
    "So go ask to be relieved if you're going to cry about it," he told them angrily. He was about half Gillis's size in both height and weight. "Then you can go back to hanging out at the dump on weekends."
    Gillis and Ricco started laughing at this.
    "Hanging at the dump, eh?" Ricco said. "Well, it's sure beats being demoted from driving jet fighters to choppers !"
    Norton's ears were stung by the comment.
    "Think this is a come-down for us, do you?" he asked them.
    "Who wouldn't?" Ricco replied. "Everyone knows that's where guys who can't cut it in fighters wind up. Either there or flying the President's hamster around the country."
    This barb was aimed directly at Delaney; he looked as though it had punctured his heart. His face reddened, his fists tightened. He was ready to fight both men. Of course, he was also fairly drunk.
    At that moment, Smitz looked up and saw the growing confrontation. He seemed to be the only one in the room noticing something was amiss.
    He tapped his pen on the podium and called the room to order.
    "Gentlemen? Can we settle down, please?"
    The four pilots continued glaring at each other.
    "Gentlemen? Please? We have a lot of information to cover here. . . ."
    The staring contest lasted a few more moments, but finally the pilots dispersed. Norton and Delaney sat back down. Gillis and Ricco walked to the opposite side of the room, down the aisle,