Free The Family Moskat by Isaac Bashevis Singer

those kind who are dumb as a fish today, but tomorrow they'll be standing in the University of Brussels, pro-claiming that we Jews are a religion, not a nation, and that the Ostjuden stink up the atmosphere."
    "The man's gone crazy. What are you getting the young man all confused for? Pay no attention to him; he's just baaing like a goat.
    Where are you from, young man?"
    "Tereshpol Minor."
    "Teresh--what?"
    "Tereshpol Minor."
    "Where on earth is that? What a queer name!"
    "Near Zamosc."
    "Dear God preserve us! So many strange towns! Is it true that you're a mathematician?"
    "I studied a little."
    "You're modest and he brags. Well, whatever it is, you stay here for dinner. Here, meet our guests. This is my father-in-law's wife, Rosa Frumetl, and this is her daughter--what's your name, my dear?--oh, yes, Adele."
    "May I ask where you studied mathematics?" Adele asked in a precise and elegant tone.
    Asa Heshel flushed. "I studied by myself," he stammered.
    "From books."
    "Elementary mathematics--or higher mathematics?"
    "I really don't know."
    "Well, analytical geometry, for example, or differential calculus."
    "Oh, nol I'm not as far advanced as that."
    "Well, I went as far as that, but I don't count myself a mathematician."
    "Oh, I don't make such claims."
    "Adele, why do you cross-examine the man?" Rosa Frumetl broke in. "If they say he's a mathematician, then he's a mathematician."
    -42-"That's the
    style these days. Every yeshivah student is a Newton."
    "It isn't the style--it's the truth," Abram boomed. "In our poor seminaries there are more geniuses than in all their universities put together."
    "Oh, I've been to Switzerland and I've seen all these geniuses of yours. They lack elementary education."
    "Adele, my darling, what are you saying? Everybody knows that the study of the Torah sharpens the mind," Rosa Frumetl interrupted; she seemed to be constantly on the watch, ready to curb her daughter's sharp tongue.
    "That's a lot of nonsense! I studied the Torah myself--and when it comes to anything important I've got a head like a barrel," Nyunie remarked.
    "You always had a head like a barrel," Dacha said.
    "Quarreling already!" Abram shouted. "Whenever I have a squabble with my Hama it's a signal for the rest of the family to go at it. The young man's got terrific recommendations--he's a philosopher into the bargain. Show them the letter!"
    "Pleasel I'm not a philosopher."
    "The letter from Zamosc says you are."
    "I'm only a student, I have some ideas."
    "Ideas! The whole world's busy with ideas," Dacha put in with a sigh. "My Hadassah--every day she's writing down her ideas. In my time nobody bothered with ideas and we lived just the same."
    "I'm getting hungry. Why are we waiting with dinner?"
    Nyunie asked impatiently. He had a reputation as the family glutton. Besides, he hadn't taken a fancy to this pretentious new stepmother whom Dacha had invited, or this newly acquired and irritating stepsister, or this green youth whom Abram had brought along. He was afraid that because of them he would not be able to stretch out on the sofa for a nap after his meal. His nerve-ridden wife, the typical daughter of a rabbinical house, who had to take pills to give her an appetite as well as to settle her stomach afterwards, darted an angry glance at him.
    "Hadassah is not here yet."
    "Where's she running around? We can eat without her."
    "No, well wait," Dacha ruled. "When he reminds himself of food, your life's in danger!"
    There was a ring of the outer doorbell. "It's Hadassah,"
    -43-Nyunie
    exclaimed, and started to run toward the door on his short legs.
    Dacha sat down on her cushioned chair, pulled out of her sleeve a monogrammed handkerchief, and held it up to her long nose.
    "Abram," she said, "come here. Tell me where you found this young man."
    "I found him and he's here; that's all there is to it. Don't be embarrassed, young man. Their Newtons don't scare us. Any one of our sages can tuck them under his belt. Just let us