Free Officer in Pursuit by Ranae Rose Page B

my dreams and leave me hanging.”
    He was exaggerating, but he was still
right. He deserved a clear explanation. She hated – absolutely
hated – not being able to give him one. If she maintained her
silence or gave him some vague bullshit answer, he’d probably think
she was trying to be coy, like a 12 year old girl instead of the 27
year old woman she was.
    A tiny, insane part of her wanted to
tell him everything. But her tongue was like stone in her mouth and
in her mind’s eye, she could see her world crumbling around her if
she spoke the words. If she let her past come to life, even in a
story, the confession would act as a spell – dark magic – and
destroy the appearance of normalcy she was able to
maintain.
    She had to shut out who she’d been,
because that person couldn’t coexist with who she was now. She
wasn’t strong enough to face the past. Not yet. She’d made a little
progress, but she still had miles to go.
    She might make it there someday, if
she didn’t screw up along the way, trying to fake a level of
normalcy, of happiness, that she wasn’t equipped to deal
with.
    “I’m not trying to be coy or
mysterious,” she forced herself to say. “But I’m not looking to
date anyone. Not even someone I really like. It’s just not in the
cards for me right now.”
    God, she sounded like an
idiot.
    Even though he would’ve been within
his rights to be irritated, she was terrified that he’d be pissed,
maybe even walk away. Though she’d just rejected him, she hoped –
pathetically, she knew – that he’d still maintain a casual
friendliness with her. That she’d still get to see him during group
outings, where she could secretly lust after him like a penniless
person window-shopping.
    For a moment he just sat there
examining his water bottle like it was the eighth wonder of the
world.
    She waited for the explosion of
annoyance, the exclamation of disgust.
    “No explanation, no dice,” he finally
said.
    “What?”
    “If you won’t tell me why you won’t
date me, even though the attraction is mutual, I’m not giving
up.”
    She sat in stunned silence. Then, a
sense of horror dawned on her. She’d pushed herself to say what she
had to – to reject him. And he wasn’t buying it. A few defiant
words from him, and she already felt her resolve
wavering.
    “Now you’re just teasing me.” She
tried to sound like her heart wasn’t in her throat.
    “I’m completely serious. If you think
I’m joking, you overestimated me.”
    “Over estimated?”
    “Yup. You clearly thought I could be a
mature adult about this and respect your mysterious reasons why you
have to be alone. Well, you don’t know who you’re dealing
with.”
    Her mouth was dry now. “Don’t
I?”
    He peeled off his sunglasses and
looked her directly in the eye. Even through her own lenses, she
felt his gaze, intense and searing. “You’ll have to be on guard
from now on if you really want to resist me, because I’m going to
charm the hell out of you. Prepare to fall in love.”
    She wanted to laugh. And run before
she could do something stupid, like melt into a puddle of wishful
thinking fantasies. Instead she said: “Oh, come on. Don’t waste
your time on me. You could have women falling at your feet if you
wanted.”
    His grin was brighter than the sun.
“Thanks, but the only woman I want falling at my feet is
you.”
    “Why?”
    “You have the best triceps in Riley
County. Female ones, anyway. And Liam and Henry have been laughing
at me all summer because you keep turning me down. I need to regain
my dignity.”
    “You know, I was a little worried when
you said you were going to charm the hell out of me. But if this is
what you meant by that, I feel secure in my ability to
resist.”
    “I’m lulling you into a false sense of
security. When you least expect it, I’m going to unleash the
charm.”
    She finally let herself laugh.
Secretly, she was still worried. Grey was charming in a way she’d
never