Free Out of the Dark by April Emerson

other beings in the world.
    The silence reaches an awkwardness I can’t stand, and I try to change the subject.  
    “Where did you get those fish?”
    He swivels the chair so we’re facing the luminescent tank. “This office was my father’s before he passed away. Most of those fish are ones he caught scuba diving in Bora Bora, if you can believe that.”
    I feel his hands running up and down my back as I gaze at the huge, ancient fish and imagine Stefan’s father diving and conquering them like Neptune with a trident.
    “When I was a kid I used to stare at this tank—at the skeleton arms of the coral and the strange creatures that look so out of place here. I remember being both intrigued by their mystery and a bit afraid. I went diving with my father a few times. He loved the sea. He loved the lakes near Ravine Creek.” He smiles, looking lost in memories.
    “Maybe you can take me swimming some time?”
    His face drops and turns to stone. “No. No, I don’t think so. I don’t swim anymore.” He moves me off his lap and stands, trying to avoid me, but I grab his hands.
    Whatever caused his reaction must be painful, but I not only want to, I need to know about this piece of him.
    “Wait. Stefan, talk to me.” I take his face between my hands. “You can tell me anything.”
    He looks in my eyes for several moments before he speaks. “I told you I have a younger sister, Gemma, but I also had an older sister named Luciana. The reason I don’t swim anymore is because she drowned. She drowned twenty years ago in Lake Seneca, and I was there. I watched it happen. I tried to save her, and I . . . couldn’t.” His voice cracks, and he bites his lip, fighting off tears.
    My heart and soul ache for him in ways I cannot express. There’s such a haunted sadness in his eyes. I have no words, and I don’t press him any further. Instead, I wrap my arms around him and hold him, pressing my ear to his chest and listening to his precious heartbeat.
    ***
    Several days later, we walk through the vineyard at sundown in much lighter spirits. It’s a perfect moment. Everything is just as I would wish it to be in my dreams. The man I love by my side, the smell of the sweet earth all around me, long shadows lingering between the tangled grapevines—no worries, no intruders, just us.
    Stefan has been quiet all evening.
    He holds my hand, and in the heat of the summer evening, I can feel his sweat. He clears his throat several times as we walk, and I begin to wonder if maybe his perspiration is due to something besides the temperature. He seems nervous.
    I steal a side-glance and find his brow furrowed in concentration.
    The soft amber sunlight casts a gorgeous glow on his face.
    I stop walking, and he turns to face me. His eyes look lost.
    “What is it?”
    He looks down at the ground and takes both his hands in mine.
    My body turns to ice when I see him drop down on one knee.
    He takes out a small black box from his pocket. “Carina, I’m in love with you. After so long, I feel my soul has found its match. You’re what I’ve been longing for. You are beauty and grace and peace. I don’t deserve you, and I never will, but I hope that you will overlook my flaws and do me the honor of being my love forever.”
    I’m trembling, and my mind and body feel as if they are splitting apart. I feel as though I’ve stepped outside myself, and I’m watching it all from a distance.
    “Carina, will you marry me?” He opens the box.
    Even though the light reflecting from the enormous gem is staggering, I don’t look at the ring. I look at him, and I’ve never been more sure of anything ever before. I’ve fallen into his world, and I never want to leave it. “Yes, I will marry you,” I answer in a steady and sincere voice.
    He slips the ring on my finger.
    The huge square stone is surrounded by smaller diamonds, which also adorn the band. It’s beautiful.
    “I am yours forever, Stefan.”
    He stands and slides his hand up