Free Random Acts of Hope by Julia Kent

it was porn and— ”
    “Actually, my dad did just laugh,” I said.
    “ Someone believed in you!” she insisted.
    I looked at T revor. “Your mom,” I said.
    He nodded. “ She gave us the garage to practice in.”  
    “Then be Trevor’s mom for me right now if you can muster it, or else.”
    “Or else what?”
    “Or else I’ll make you the victim of a werewolf attack and have them dining on your eviscerated bowels. Liam is a great name for a character. ”
    “Lovely.”
    “How about we give you some material for sex scenes,” Joe whispered to her, but loud enough for everyone to hear. He steered her to Trevor’s bedroom.
    She said something to him that included the words “sex toy.”
    Which made me think of Charlotte.
    In the week that had passed, the guys had thought it was fucking funny to make that damn blowup doll show up in weird places. Passenger seat of my car. Their toilet. In their fridge bent in half, hole poking out with a banana in it . Playi n g Joe’s bass while sitting on the couch.
    I hadn’t seen her—it!—all day, so I knew it was coming.
    But Charlotte…
    Trevor watched Joe walk down the halfway with Darla, then turned to m e and said, “Speaking of sex toys…”
    “Where is she?” I asked.
    “I was thinking more about our conversation the other night. About Charlotte and the pregnancy.”
    Oh, fuck. I did not want to talk about this, but it was better to go on the offensive. “You mean the fact that I shoot blanks?”
    “Yep.” He gave me a look of pity. “That’s gotta hurt.”
    “No. When I come it feels just as good as it does for everyone else.”
    “Dude.” He gave me a hard look. What was this, the Dr. Phil show?
    “You want me to cry and sob like a pussy about the fact that I got mumps when I was at an age where it can fry your nads? Because that’s it. Simple story. Nothing to it.” That was the most I’d ever said about it to anyone other than my doctor and my mom.  
    “And Charlotte knew that and still fucked someone e l se and got knocked up?”
    I straightened. “Sort of.”
    Sam and Amy watched our conversation quietly. “You never told her,” she said in a flat voice. For some reason, it sounded like an indictment. Like I’d done something wrong.  
    “No.” I tried. I really had tried, a thousand times while we date d. But what teen guy wants to confess to the chick he loves that he’ll never be a daddy? Mom and Dad and the doctors confirmed it when I was sixteen. Nothing like shooting off a load in a bathroom with a Playboy m agazine and handing your hot cup of jizz off to a nurse while your mother watches.
    When you’re sixteen .
    For two different specialists.
    The test results weren’t a surprise, but they were a source of rage. Shame. Something . My teeth ground against each other and my hands itched to do…something. Hi t something. Play something.
    Anything but this conversation.
    Amy closed her eyes and nodded. “I get it. You knew you couldn’t father children. Charlotte got pregnant. You assumed she cheated on you. End of story.”
    “Right.”
    “Is that why you dumped her like that? So coldly on the phone?” Amy asked.
    I whipped around, surprised. “You knew that?”
    “Only later. Maybe…two years ago? Rumors. People got together and you talk and…” Her voice trailed off. “I defended you. I said you’d never, ever be that cold to someone. That you were too kind to do such a thing.”
    Sam froze. My past with Amy wasn’t a secret, but he clearly didn’t like it being aired like this. After he’d disappeared on her, and after Charlotte fucked me over, we’d turned to each other and, in a moment of we a kness, slept with each other.
    Not a mistake, but not something I wanted tossed out there in front of Sam right now.
    “You never told me,” Amy said softly. Her big, brown eyes locked on mine with an enormous accusation.
    “I nev e r told anyone, except him.” I pointed to Trevor, who crossed his arms over