Free The Alcoholics by Jim Thompson Page B

notice it," said Jeff.
    "'Magine your head aches pretty bad, don't it?"
    "Well, yes. But, look now-uh-" Jeff hesitated. For a doctor this bird was a little rough in the English department, but- "Stand up, please."
    "But-if you don't mind, I'd-"
    "Up!" said Rufus firmly.
    Jeff Sloan stood up. Rufus placed a ham-like hand against each side of his head, and began to move them in a gentle push-pull motion.
    "Feels better, don't it, suh? Makes it feel kinda nice an' easy."
    Jeff, his head wobbling from side to side, backward and forward, agreed that it did feel better.
    Rufus' hands pressed tighter. Their motion grew faster. "Jus' relax," he said. "Jus' let it go an' I give you a… 'justment! "
    He gave a sudden quick jerk. There was a loud pop from the immediate vicinity of Jeff Sloan's neck. He yelled, pulled violently out of Rufus' grasp, and fell back against the house.
    "God Almighty," he gasped, his head bent over and slightly to the front of his left shoulder. "Y-you've broken my neck!"
    "No, s-suh. No, I ain't, suh." A premonition of impending disaster set Rufus' insides a-tremble. "You jus' ain't let me finish the 'justment, suh, 'at's all. I give it one more teeny-weensie twist, an'-"
    "Jesus," he grunted, "how stupid can a guy get! I'm goddam lucky I got a head on my neck at all!"
    Jeff glared at him. His head poised at a ludicrous angle, he stamped off the terrace and into the house. Boy, he'd had it! All he needed now was to have some of these jokers give him the horse laugh.
    Fortunately-for the physical welfare of anyone who might have encountered him, as well as his pride-he arrived at his room unobserved. He closed the door, placed a chair against it (it had no lock) and sank down on the bed. He started to lie back, and a sharp twinge brought him suddenly upright.
    He tried again, on his side. He tried it on the other side. He tried it on his stomach. Groaning, a little desperate, he sat up again.
    He managed to light a cigarette, and smoked, moodily, moving the cigarette back and forth to his lips with a wide sweeping motion. He flung it to the floor, cursing, pushed himself up off the bed, and went into the bathroom.
    God, he groaned, staring at his lopsidedness in the bathroom mirror, why couldn't he have seen that the guy was a screwball? He knew he was only a flunky, knew he must be, and yet, by God, he'd gone right ahead and.
    He started to turn on the water, then saw that a hand towel was lying in the sink. He picked it up and-.
    "Huh!" he gasped, and his head snapped up in surprise. His neck popped again, and he grunted out an "Ouch!" and then he was looking into the mirror again, moving his head to and fro, laughing in sheer delight. It was all right. The damned thing had slipped back into place. That little jump he'd given, when he'd seen what was in the sink…
    "What do you know," he said, tenderly, and lifted it up. "Baby, you are a life saver!"
    He sniffed it. He sipped, cautiously. He drank and said, "Whuff!" and "Wow!"
    A hundred proof, by gosh. A full tumbler-better than half a pint-of hundred proof whiskey.
    He drank again, the why of the miracle brushed aside in the urgent need to enjoy it. To hell with why. Who cared about why? It wasn't some kind of crappy trick; it wasn't doped up. It was real honest-to-Hannah whiskey, drinkin' whiskey, and he could feel the old lead flowing back into his pencil already.
    "A life saver," murmured Jeff, and he meant it literally.
    He sipped at the whiskey until the glass was approximately two-thirds full. Then, he dripped water into it until the level reached the top again. He took another sip, held it in his mouth a moment, savoring it judiciously. He nodded with satisfaction… Very shrewd, he thought, congratulating himself on the "discovery"; unaware that the trick was the oldest in the alcoholic's repertoire. You could get that high- proof taste in your mouth, then cut your drink back to its original size; and it was almost impossible to tell that it had