Free Too Much To Bear: BBW Shifter Romance (Shifters of Spellholm Forest - The Bears) by Harmony Raines

understand.
    How do you make someone understand why they would humiliate them for their own good? To explain why he waited for her to stand up on a stage in front so many people, in a role she had fought for, and rehearsed so hard to perfect. Looking back it was the worst, most stupid thing to do, but he never did the sensible thing, not until now.
    She had changed him, without even trying. All he could hope for was that the mating bond between them was strong enough to get them through this. Because he was sure she would need his support when she found out the truth about what she would be.
    "Go ahead, you always seem to have all the answers," she said mockingly, the hurt clear on her face.
    "OK. I'll try to explain it from the beginning, but please let me tell you the whole story."
    "I'm an enraptured audience," she said, making him wince at the reference to audience.
    He took a deep breath, and tried to put his thoughts into careful words. Something he had never done before. Never once in his past had he worried about hurting another person. A brash, speak first, think later kind of guy. That was Beck. It was how he had earned the reputation of Beck Black Bear in his family.
    "It was tough growing up being the youngest." Jenny rolled her eyes, but he carried on. "Once my eldest brother changed, I became obsessed with the idea I would be something different. That's when I started searching the forest for the old woman, wanted to know if she was real. It was about a year later I found her, by accident I stumbled across her cottage. At first I thought it was deserted, but then she appeared.”
    He paused, trying to gauge if she had calmed down at all, he didn’t think so. However, he knew he had to carry on.
    "The question that had been burning in my mind didn't seem so important at that moment. Instead, a picture of you came into my brain. I'd been teasing you earlier, about your hair or something. Remember when you used to have it styled in those pigtails. I hated it; I always preferred it when your hair was down. It flows loose around your shoulders like sunshine."
    He took a quick look at her, and hoped he saw her face soften a little. "I remember," she said.
    "So instead of asking her what I would be, I asked what my mate would be."
    "What did she say?"
    "Are you sure you want to know?"
    "Yes. I think it's best if I know everything now, Beck. Don't you? No secrets, no lies."
    "A snow leopard."
    "Wow."
    He thought she would be upset, but she wasn't. Her face looked radiant.
    "Pretty special, huh?" he ventured.
    "Yes, very special. I have never heard of one, not around here."
    "I know," he agreed.
    "And that's when you decided I wasn't your mate."
    He nodded. "Your family have been birds for as long as anyone can remember. Seagulls, owls, swans, you name it."
    "You still didn't have to be so cruel. The way you treated me, covering all my words with the sound of pigs grunting."
    He dragged his hand through his hair, shaking his head with regret. "All I could think of was the way you looked at me, and the way I had begun to see you. So good, and pure. Too good for me, and then Mother Hart's words pushed me into thinking I had to be cruel to be kind."
    "There is never a reason to be that cruel."
    "I get it. I really do. And I was such a fool. You cannot imagine how far I searched for my mate, every woman I saw, looking to see if they were the one. Never found her. Until I came back here. The shock of seeing you, and knowing you were here all along. When we went into the woods earlier, part of me wanted to find Mother Hart, and strangle her. However, I understand now, what she tells is open to interpretation. And I got it wrong, so wrong."
    "Yes. You did."
    "Will you forgive me?"
    "I don't know if I have a choice."
    "But if you did?"
    "You hurt me Beck, more than anyone could ever know. When I found out you were my mate, I swore to make you suffer the same way you made me suffer. But I don't know if this stupid mate thing will