Free My Hope Is Found: The Cadence of Grace, Book 3 by Joanne Bischof Page A

much.”
    “I’ll spend a month there, during which time Reverend McKee will take over the Sunday services here for a spell.”
    “Oh, wonderful.” Lonnie whittled the toe of her boot into the floor. She cleared her throat. “And how is … I mean, do you often see …”
    Reverend Gardner’s face was kind. Knowing. “Gideon? No, not often.”
    With her free hand, Lonnie fiddled with her son’s tiny fingers, fighting a swell of emotion at the sheer mention of Gideon.
    “Rarely is he in church. Though there was one Sunday rather recently that he and Miss Allan—I mean that he and his …”
    Lonnie’s face flushed with heat. She prayed it didn’t show.
    Reverend Gardner cleared his throat. “That
they
were in church. It was a pleasure to see him there. After his lengthy absence …” His voice trailed off awkwardly.
    “And were they … were they well?” Lonnie pursed her lips when her voice betrayed her.
    “Both well. Though the young lady had recently been ill, it seemed. However, it looked as if she was recovering nicely.”
    “Ill?”
    “I’m not sure what it is that had her under the weather, but when they were in church, she was thinner than I had remembered. And a bit pale. Poor thing seemed quite out of sorts.”
    Something struck Lonnie. An understanding she couldn’t quite place. Or that she didn’t want to. Before she could put her thoughts together, a woman spoke behind them.
    “There’ll be a baby by year’s end for that one.”
    Shattering the shield before Lonnie could put it up.
    Heart plummeting to her stomach, Lonnie turned to see the woman speak to another at her side. “I felt the exact same way each time I was expectin’. Mark my words. Those are the signs of a mother.”
    Turning, Lonnie suddenly felt lightheaded. “Oh,” she blurted, her voice small, so tight was her throat. “W-well, thank you for your time, Reverend Gardner. I won’t keep you any longer.” She forced the words out dizzily and nodded an awkward farewell. Turning quickly, she found a seat and sank onto the hard pew before her knees gave way.
    She was shaking.
    Gideon. Her sweet, sweet Gideon. And Cassie. She wanted to scream.
    The two women continued to whisper. “I got wind that that man was nothing shy of a heathen.” Disapproval was thick in the glance they exchanged.
    Lonnie was going to be sick. She stood and strode down the aisle. Spotting Gus, she hurried toward him. “May Jacob sit with you a moment? I’ll be right back.”
    “Certainly!”
    She settled Jacob in his arms, and Gus bounced the little boy on his knee. Lonnie darted from the church. Her shawl forgotten in a black puddle on the pew, the icy air engulfed her. She brushed at the moisture along her forehead and down her temple. Her heart clamored in her chest, and she pressed a hand to her throat, where her pulse thundered. Her head lighter than the snow falling around her, she sank onto a fallen log behind the church building, certain no one could see her.
    Covering her face in her hands, Lonnie forced herself to take long, slow breaths. But still the nausea rose. She fought back tears. Fought them back with all her might, but despite her resolve, her shoulders shook, and she let out a sob. Clamping a hand over her mouth, Lonnie squeezed her eyes shut, sending a hot tear to her cheek.
    A baby for Gideon. And Cassie was its mama.
    Her darling Gideon. When her shoulders shook with sobs, she wasthankful that the first hymn began within the chapel—drowning out the sound of her sorrow. The tiny inkling of hope that he had remained faithful to her severed. And why should she cling to such things? Why should Gideon have hung on to their love when there was no hope?
    He had moved on. He had forgotten her.
    “Lonnie.”
    She opened her eyes with a start.
    Toby crouched in front of her. His face was filled with worry. He wrapped a hand around hers. It was then she realized how much she was actually trembling.
    “What’s happened?”