Free The Village Newcomers by Rebecca Shaw Page B

Alex’s letter, but of course he didn’t mean what he said in it. Reading between the lines, it was a plea for recognition. How could he not want to see his mother? Obviously he was being influenced by Caroline.’
     
    ‘Caroline had nothing whatsoever to do with the writing of that letter. It was entirely what he and Beth both felt. Had you seen their distress when they read your letters you wouldn’t be here now. You are deliberately confusing their loyalties.’
     
    ‘All I’m asking for is some time set aside for me to see them. I’m not asking them to come to live with me, though that—’
     
    ‘Stop it right there. This minute. I would do all I could to stop that ever happening. I will not allow their present happiness, their present deep security to be dragged away from them by someone they don’t even know. I will not have it. I want you to go. Now! No ifs, no buts. Now. Right away.’ Peter got to his feet, put his mug in the sink so sharply that it smashed against the tap and broke. He paused for a moment, gripping the edge of the sink, battling to keep a hold on himself. ‘I will not have their lives disrupted because of a whim of yours.’
     
    Suzy pressed on with putting her case. ‘ Whim ? This is all Caroline’s doing, I can see that. Though she was grateful enough at the time. Remember her joy? Her joy brought about by my sacrifice? Surely it’s not too much to ask - to see them, to talk with them. Things shouldn’t be like this. I want to be able to get to know them, to kiss them goodnight at bedtime sometimes. Is it so terrible to feel like that?’
     
    ‘Yes. No, it isn’t. Yes, it is. The decision is entirely theirs and is not influenced by either myself or Caroline, you must understand that. You were glad to give them away when they were born. We were very useful. Just you remember that, please.’
     
    Suzy stood up. She didn’t even come to his shoulder, but he felt her strength, her animosity and her shattering disappointment. ‘It took two of us. It wasn’t a virgin birth. My offering the two of them to you, their father, saved Caroline’s sanity, remember?’
     
    She was right about that, for Caroline was full of pain at the time knowing she would never be able to give him children, so much so she’d offered to divorce him so he would be free.
     
    ‘Yes, I do remember. She offered to adopt them for my sake and I refused at first. I couldn’t bear the thought of having the evidence of my infidelity in my own home every single day. My unfaithfulness to her was one of the most distressing, turbulent, horrifying things that has ever happened to me.’
     
    Suzy interrupted him. ‘It was one of the most wonderful things for me . It was only my desperate financial state that made me know I could never keep the pair of them, not when I had to work to keep a roof over my girls’ heads, to buy the very food on my girls’ plates. How could I have kept them? I couldn’t. It broke my heart giving them away, but there was no alternative.’ She drew closer to him. ‘Wasn’t that day wonderful for you? The two of us? Together? You both got your heart’s desire, didn’t you? Say you did, or my sacrifice will have been worthless.’ There came a gentle, pleading note in her voice in those last words and Peter’s flesh crawled with dismay. Or was it revulsion? Had she forgotten she was compliant, a co-conspirator? Eager for him?
     
    ‘There is nothing else to be said. Please, just go.’
     
    He strode out of the kitchen, unable to cope any longer. He flung the Rectory door wide open and stood breathing heavily, waiting for her. She was more right then he was prepared to give her credit for. Of course they were glad to have them, both of them were glad, but would she never go? Where had that sweet, pliant person gone? Had he, Peter Harris, never regretted anything he’d done? Wished he could turn back the clock? Of course he had. The matter which had brought about the