Free The Next Forever by Lisa Burstein

that people change?” I asked.
    “Why would they? That’s a lot of work.”
    “Not if the person you used to be felt like more work,” I said, the words seeming heavy coming out. Being at the mercy of other people had seemed easier, but I knew with each nod of my head a little bit of myself was chiseling off.
    I was tired of it. I needed to do what I wanted to do.
    I hoped I wasn’t too late. My phone still hadn’t rung. Had I finally done it? Pushed Joe away without even saying no?
    I deserved it.
    “So did you pass or fail?” Trevor asked, turning to me. I could feel him waiting for the signal to move in and kiss me.
    Under very different circumstances, I might have just done it. But I guess I also knew that, whether Trevor believed me or not, in addition to not being able to do it to Joe, I couldn’t do it to the girl I’d changed into.
    The girl I now knew I wanted to be.
    The old Amy would not succeed in continuing to fuck up my life.
    Trevor, as superhot as he was, didn’t really like me. He liked the idea of being able to steal me away from my boyfriend, of being able to get me to do what he wanted me to do.
    I wasn’t that girl anymore.
    I pulled back from him.
    “ He would cheat on you ,” Trevor said, indicating my phone.
    “He wouldn’t, trust me,” I said, shaking my head. “I may not be able to trust myself, but I can trust him completely.”
    “He’s a guy. Guys cheat and if they don’t, they think about it and wish they could.”
    “Not Joe,” I said.
    “Oh,” he mused, “so the boyfriend has a name.”
    “Yes, his name is Joe. Not ‘the boyfriend’ and not the guy I am going to cheat on.” I felt my voice start to rise. “His name is Joe.”
    The words were barely out of my mouth when I saw him walking down the other side of the street—shirtless, a girl next to him in only what I recognized as his missing shirt.
    “What the fuck?” I asked, whispered really, that whisper that can feel as loud as a scream.
    Trevor turned and laughed. “Walk of shame,” he said.
    “That’s Joe,” I said, saying his name because I was trying to make myself believe it.
    “Ha! Looks like he failed,” Trevor said, starting to laugh harder.
    “Fuck you, Trevor,” I said. As I suspected—all he’d ever wanted from me was sex, and I’d been almost stupid enough to give it to him.
    Not that it mattered now, considering Joe had a practically naked girl at his side.
    “Hey, I just call it like I see it , bad girl ,” he said.
    “Stop calling me that,” I said, in that moment certain I would never be his bad girl , whether Joe had moved on or not.
    I waited, wondering if I should just watch Joe walk by. There was a very big difference between studying at the library and walking home half-naked with an obviously drunk and half-naked girl.
    Bigger than very big.
    Joe had lied, but worse than that, he’d somehow found a naked girl and given her his shirt. There was no way I was just going to let him walk by.
    “How was the library?” I yelled.
    I saw Joe look around. He’d heard me but was unsure where my voice was coming from.
    “Hey, boyfriend,” Trevor added. His hands cupped over his mouth. “Amy’s boyfriend!” He stood and yelled louder.
    Joe finally turned to us. He seemed confused, his arms crossed over his chest to fight the cold. But then he saw us, saw me . First he looked angry. Then, I guess remembering he was supposed to be at the library, he looked terrified.
    Maybe it didn’t matter what I wanted. Maybe Joe had made my decision for me. Fuck me for being too afraid to finally be myself.
    He didn’t move, the half-naked girl at his side.
    “Anytime, Amy’s boyfriend,” Trevor yelled. “I was just getting through telling her how you would cheat on her if you had the chance. Thanks for the visual aid.”
    “Who the hell are you?” Joe yelled.
    “Who the hell are you with?” I yelled back.
    “Why don’t you come over here, so I can introduce myself properly.”