Free Among the Gods by Lynn Austin

Joshua do to you?” he asked in a hushed voice.
    Hadad stared at him, through him. “He cut out my heart. Now I want the chance to cut out his.”

5
    J OSHUA HURRIED THROUGH BREAKFAST, his mind on the full day of work ahead of him. A supply ship was arriving from the north today with a shipment of military weapons from Pharaoh. And there was always more work to be done on the altar site. He pushed himself away from the table and stood, so abruptly that he nearly bumped into Miriam, who had been hovering behind him.
    “Sorry,” he mumbled.
    “No, I … I’ve been waiting to speak with you, my lord. I need to ask a favor.”
    “Can you make it fast? I’m in a hurry.”
    “It’s about Nathan.”
    Joshua’s stomach clenched at the mention of his name. “What about him?”
    “He’s been living away from home for two months now. Hasn’t he been punished enough? He’s just a boy.”
    Joshua’s life had been peaceful without Nathan and the threat of blackmail hanging over him. He didn’t want Nathan to come back.
    “I sent him away because he wouldn’t live by the rules of this house. How can I be certain that he’s ready to live by them now?”
    “Because he’s suffered enough, my lord, being separated from Mattan and me.”
    “He’s not suffering, he’s learning what it means to work. The apprenticeship will do him good. He didn’t want to go to school; he refused to obey or respect me. There was no other alternative than to make him earn his keep.”
    “Please give him another chance.”
    Joshua couldn’t meet her gaze. He stared past her through the open doorway to the courtyard beyond. “I’ve given him plenty of chances. I even offered to let him work with me if he didn’t want to study with the Levites, but he refused. I won’t take him back until he apologizes.”
    “He’s too proud. He’ll never take the first step and come to you. Please …”
    “I’m sorry.” Joshua spread his hands. “There’s nothing I can do.” He hurried away before she could plead with him further.
    Miriam and her brother aroused too many disturbing feelings in Joshua—guilt over Maki’s death, shame because of the mistakes he had made, fear of being exposed. He could forget all of these emotions if Miriam stayed in the background and if he didn’t have to deal with Nathan. And that’s exactly what he intended to do.
    He left the house and walked to the work site, but Miriam’s pleas lingered like a bitter taste on his tongue long after he arrived at the new worship area. The Levites were building an outdoor enclosure where the exiles could assemble and the priests could offer sacrifices, but today the sight of the huge unfinished courtyard aligned toward Jerusalem depressed Joshua further.
    The new worship site was an alien place, so unlike the Temple in Jerusalem atop Mount Zion, with its clean air and panoramic views. This courtyard was cramped and dingy-looking; all the incense in Egypt couldn’t erase the pungent, fishy smell of the nearby river. Countless setbacks and supply problems continued to delay their work, so after more than a year of waiting, the priests were still unable to offer more than the daily sacrifices. Joshua hadn’t been able to make an offering for his sins or find relief from the guilt that plagued him. Maybe once the site was finished and he’d made his guilt offering, he’d be ready to deal with Nathan again.
    He tried to push aside these thoughts as he bent to inspect the foundation trench for the enclosure’s walls. Engrossed in his work, he didn’t hear the approaching footsteps.
    “Hello, Joshua.”
    He looked up, then stood abruptly. Hadad stood a few feet away. Without thinking, Joshua gripped the hilt of the dagger he wore at his hip.
    “You won’t need your weapon,” Hadad said quietly. “I’m not armed.”
    He lifted his hands in surrender, but Joshua still felt uneasy. Hadad had left the island spouting threats, swearing vengeance. Joshua remembered