sis. So you don’t do anything stupid to go fuckin’ it all up like getting mixed in with pills, ‘kay?”
I close my eyes and listen to his words, taking them in and letting them set deep. They’re not judgmental, their not condescending…. they’re just honest. It’s not a way I’m familiar with, having not heard that heartfelt, genuine, concern since my dad, before he passed.
“Jay, I mean it. It’s over. Done,” I make the resolution, fully determined to carry through with the promise.
My new brother smiles and grabs a fry, scooping it through the small well of deep golden mustard.
“Good. ‘Cause Brendan needs a ma. He already lost one getting hooked on junk.”
Whatever strong resolve I may have had due to Jay’s earlier points has just been trumped by perhaps the most important reason yet to straighten this shit out.
~*~
“You’re home early.” Dana’s voice is groggy.
I fully expected her to still be sleeping at this hour, seeing as the sun hasn’t even begun to rise yet. I shut the door and toss my keys into the decorative bowl on the table before kicking off my nursing shoes.
“Yeah, it’s kind of a long story.” She listens as she pours a cup of tea from the kettle. “Since when do I have a tea kettle?”
She may be tired but she’s awake enough to laugh at my question.
“Just picked up a few things from the store. Want some?” Dana holds up the pretty-looking metal handle, tempting me.
I nod, “Why not?”
The pouring liquid splashes and streams into a second cup as I breathe in the rich aroma from across the room.
“I wanted to talk to you, Dana.” I hadn’t planned on doing it at five in the morning, but sometimes an opportunity just presents itself.
Her eyebrow arches in curiosity as she sets the ceramic cups down for us, sliding into the seat across the small table.
“I wanted to apologize.”
My confession catches her slightly off guard. “For?”
I take a long sip of the hot herbal tea and plan my words.
“They way you found me the other day…” I begin.
She interrupts. “You scared the shit out of me, Charlie.”
“I know, Dana. I’m sorry,” I breathe out. “I know you did what you needed to by going through my bag and-”
“I shouldn’t have done that,” she’s quick to add.
I shake my head, disagreeing with her. “No. You were right to do it. I was getting out of hand.”
She eyes me, knowing that I don’t easily admit my wrongs.
“Charlie… I know you have a whole new family, a new life, but-”
I reach out for her slender hand and take it in mine. “Dana, you’re always going to be my sister.”
I’m not sure if she believes me. A small glimmer of a tear appears in the corner of her eye and she avoids my gaze.
“I lost daddy, too, Charlie. I know you never really liked me but I can’t lose my big sister, too.” She sniffles.
I swallow. “Dana. It doesn’t matter if we didn’t always get along. You’re my baby sister, we’re not supposed to get along all the time. But, there’s always going to be a place for you in my life. And I promise… no more stupid shit, Okay?”
She squints her eyes. “No more pills?”
I smile. “No more pills.”
We both drink awkwardly in the moment.
“So…” I’m not very good at the sisterly conversational skills, as we’re usually screaming at each other. “T.J.”
Her almond-shaped eyes roll sarcastically. “He’s so confusing.”
I laugh. “He’s a biker. They don’t exactly come with a manual.”
Her eyes shine and dance with just the mere mention of the man’s name. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like this before when it came to a guy.
“Listen, Dana. I have to tell you I don’t think it’s a good idea. He-” I search for the word to accurately describe the kid. “He’s got some baggage. Lil’s had a friend from college that T.J. was kind of sweet on. She was murdered, brutally, and he’s always blamed himself. I’m no expert on this