Free Aphrodite's Kiss by Julie Kenner

ferret voice.
Fashion accessories, I mean
.
    Hale scowled. Despite his sister’s, his father’s, and his ferret’s teasing, Hale’s assignment suited him just fine. Of course, being a romance novel cover model wasn’t a typical disguise. It wasn’t like he was a cop or a mild-mannered reporter. Still, it had some perks— good hours, good pay, gorgeous women. Plenty of time to search out and battle evil.
    But that hadn’t meant Elmer teased him any less frequently.
    “Why me?” Hale repeated.
    “Hieronymous has minions everywhere, and this mission requires the utmost discretion. Hieronymous won’t think it’s odd that you are visiting your sister. Especially if the apparent purpose of your trip is to remind her of proper council protocol and procedure.”
    Hale squinted. “Huh?”
    Zephron’s image shuddered, shifting and shimmering until he was gone, replaced by video footage of a news program—“Witnesses say the hooded female actually flew thirty stories from the roof of the Tripoli Tower....” The reporter’s voice faded out, and Hale cringed as Zephron’s image reappeared.
    “You’re her mentor, after all,” Zephron said. “It’s only natural that you travel to Los Angeles to discuss such indiscretions.”
    “Maybe she had a good reason,” Hale said, trying to suppress a smile. He should be annoyed, he knew. After all, she could’ve gotten hurt. But she’d actually flown. Which meant things were definitely shaping up in the fate-of-the-world department. Plus, he was going to California. Maybe he’d have a day or so to do some thong watching after all.
    “Hale,” Donis said, a note of warning in his voice.
    Hale shrugged. “Or maybe we should just dump old Uncle H. into the pit and get on with our lives.” It seemed like a reasonable enough solution. Hieronymous bad. Punishment good.
    “There is the small matter of proof,” Zephron said.
    “So you’re not even sure Hieronymous is planning this Outcast-a-thon?”
    “There are changes afoot, my friends,” Zephron said, which didn’t exactly answer Hale’s question. “Donis, you will travel with me to Olympus. We must prepare for the possibility that Mordichai will deliver the stone to Hieronymous before the eclipse.”
    “Thanks so much for the vote of confidence,” Hale muttered.
    “We hope for the best, but will prepare for the worst.”
    Zephron’s smile was grandfatherly and genuine. “The fact that I am sending you to recover the stone is all the proof you should require of my faith in your abilities.”
    Hale sighed. He never could handle compliments. “Fine. Forget Greece. California, here I come.”
    Woo-hoo
! screeched Elmer.
Maybe we can work in a trip to Hollywood Boulevard or even Disneyland. Maybe watch a taping of The
Tonight Show ! He started humming “Hooray For Hollywood,” and Hale rolled his eyes. Los Angeles wasn’t high up on his list. The smog made him sneeze, and when he sneezed, he tended to turn invisible. Which was never easy to explain—even in a town like L.A. that had seen it all before.
    He pulled his thoughts back to the problem at hand. “So I’ll just tell the Zoëster what’s going on. We can scour the town and get this wrapped up in no time.” And maybe he could still work in some beach time.
    “No,” said Zephron.
    “Excuse me?” Hale said.
    Donis leaned forward and stared at the head of the council. “Don’t you think my daughter would have a better chance at succeeding if she knew what she was doing?”
    “She is a halfling,” Zephron said. “And from what I understand, her skill level leaves much to be desired.”
    “She’s my daughter.”
    “I cannot bend the rules out of friendship. As a halfling, she must finalize her application, and she must demonstrate that she is worthy. Fairly. It appears that her test will be to protect the stone. I can think of no better demonstration of her worth.”
    “But if she doesn’t know she’s supposed to protect it...”
    “If