Free Recovery by L. B. Simmons

like an eternity of waiting, you were finally mine. And that day you did let me into your heart, but when do you actually let me into your life, Alex?” His pleading eyes fill with tears. My heart aches for him.
    Taking a brief moment to reflect, I come to a realization. I knew being married again would be an adjustment; being married the first time was hard enough. But, instead of trying to include him, I just went on with my daily routine because during the last few years, I fought to be able to do that. To do for my children what I feared the loss of Derek would render me incapable of doing. So, instead of asking him to help, I went on with the only way I knew how to live, and that was completely unfair to him. He’s absolutely right.
    But, if he would have just told me how he felt…
    No insinuations , no under the breath after thoughts during an argument, but a pull me aside, “You’re being an asshole ” conversation, I would have understood how he felt and this situation could’ve been completely avoided.
    So much wasted time.
    “How long have you felt this way?” I take a step towards him, encouraging him to speak.
    “For a while.”
    With a sympathetic smile, I reach forward and take his hand. He laces his fingers with mine and squeezes tightly. Stepping into him, I wrap my arms around his waist and place my ear against his chest; the rapid beating of his heart begins to slow and the sound comforts me. I take in a deep breath, his intoxicating scent washing away every ounce of apprehension.
    “Blake,” my head remains against him as I speak, “I love you so, so much. I hope you know that. I hope you believe me when I tell you this. Because as sure as my heart beats, you have given me life again…in more ways than one.” When he says nothing, I release my hold on him and take a step back, raising my head to meet those gorgeous green eyes that have healed me so many times before.
    “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I guess,” I add with a shrug of my shoulders, “I’ve just grown accustomed to a certain way of living my life, but, you’re right, Blake. I should have made more of an effort to change when you came into ours.” He looks away and I place my finger under his chin, bringing him back into my line of sight. “But, that’s my issue. It has nothing to do with you or the way I feel about you. You are my family.” His eyes search for anything but mine, and it kills me. He needs to understand this.
    “Blake, please baby, listen to me. Look at me.” When his eyes finally meet mine, I peer into them, willing him to understand. “You. Are. My. Family. Too.” I watch a lone tear as it falls down his cheek. Reaching up, I lightly graze my fingers across his forehead, and when he looks back at me, I swipe the hair away from his eyes and cup my palm against his moist face. I lock eyes with him so that he understands the importance of my next statement.
    “That being said, you can’t keep these kinds of feelings bottled up. You have to talk to me because I can’t help fix something that I don’t know is broken. And we have been very, very broken these last few weeks, Blake.” He tries to break my gaze, but my hand keeps his eyes on mine.
    “If you would have just said something, it would have saved us a lot of heartache.” I pause, giving him a half-smile. “ And our new lamp,” I add with a small laugh. He lightly chuckles, and relief and hope flood my heart.
    “Look, we both know I’ve made plenty of mistakes,” I tilt my head down and look at him from underneath my lashes to further emphasize my point. “But I also know that the key to a successful marriage is communication. You have to be able to talk to me, Blake. I. Am. Your. Wife .”
    Without breaking eye contact, Blake slowly lifts his hand to gently tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear, then softly runs his knuckles down my cheek. A shiver spreads throughout my entire body in response to his touch. “I know, Alex. I know. And